Hoodie: Who’s that guy who takes all the pictures of the little girls? –Williamsburg Overheard by: Keith Scott
Loser: You know what’s funny? I’m actually more creative when I have thumbnails.
Artist (overhearing him, under her breath): Then you’re not that creative. –Holiday Markets, Union Square
Son, looking at sculpture of Mary with Jesus in lap: Who's that?
Son: Who's Christ?
Mother, shouting: Jesus Christ!
Overheard by: sope
Girl #1, touching bamboo sculpture: Rose, how do you think they're gonna get this down?
Girl #2: I dunno, untie it?
Girl #1: But I mean… Are they gonna, like, move it to a warehouse or, like, incinerate it? That's super not ecologically sound.
Girl #2: Um…
Girl #1: Fuck! They should just put pandas up here. Like a shit-ton of pandas. One, pandas eat bamboo. B, it would get the job done fast and all that would be left is the rope. Three, the more pandas eat, the stronger they get; the stronger they get, the more they bone, and then they're less endangered. Four, it would be really cute on the news, and… Five? Dude, pandas!
Girl #2: Are you high?
Girl #1: I've just had a Riesen.
–Roof Garden, The Met
Girl, reading sign in front of The Met: Francis Bacon…
Girl: You know that satire with human-eating babies?
Girl: That was him.
–81st & 5th
Overheard by: Dana
Young black guy to old white man, about installation art piece: See this one? That's called conceptual art.
Old white man: So whoever buys it puts it in the corner of their room?
Young black guy: Well, it's not really meant to be sold…
Woman sitting in front of bar with friends: I approached motherhood like I approached my art…
–9th St & Ave C
Overheard by: Juliet
Street artist to tourist: I don't have empathy, I paint empathy.
Hipster arty type to another: She deserves to be roofied; her prints are horrible.
Hipster to another, at Georgia O'Keefe exhibit: That's a lot of vaginas.
Four-year-old boy to father, at 17th century furniture room: This place gives me the creeps!
–Metropolitan Museum of Art
Overheard by: Me too
Mother to child: I seen that picture you did of that boy kissing that girl. (pause) Darren, your art shit is going far!
Curator: These were done in live performances. Yves Klein actually used bodies to create these pieces!
Woman: Oh my god!
Curator, smiling: Yeah.
Woman, with horrified expression: Dead bodies!?
Curator: No, live people. (proceeds to laugh awkwardly)
Overheard by: Sarah
Dumb girl, slinging leg over goat statue in MoMA courtyard: Take a picture of me riding this goat!
Dumb boyfriend: Honey, you're sitting on a Picasso.
Security guard: You don't need to be smart to go the MoMA.
–Museum of Modern Art
Young black lady to friend: I am so happy this is my last week! I hate New York City! Everybody is so rude! Today I nearly punched somebody in the face!
Overheard by: thorn
Metro guy, singing: If you're happy and you know it, get a paper. If you're happy and you know it, get a paper. If you're happy and you know it, and you really want to show it. If you're happy and you know it, get a Metro.
Overheard by: erkala
Six-year-old boy to mom: The things in cave paintings don't always look happy.
–81st & 1st
Overheard by: Tim
Obvious lawyer, on Yom Kippur: My finger is happy to have the day off.
–32nd St & Park Ave
Overheard by: k