Archive for the ‘Visual Art’ Category

Wednesday One-Liners Are Always PC

Young teen girl: I've done cybersex so often I forgot how to type with two hands.

–A Train

Suit on cell: I have nothing to blog about. I have nothing to video blog about. Man, yesterday I had to force myself to tweet!

–Uptown 4 Train

Overheard by: cowgirly

Girl selling peaches to another: Yeah, my dad was so unsympathetic when I told him my computer crashed that I went straight to the Apple store and charged a new hard drive to his credit card. I was really proud of myself.

–Fort Greene Farmers Market

Overheard by: Morning Glory

Teenage girl to friend: I don't see why we're even here. We could see all this stuff on the internet for free.

–Metropolitan Museum

Overheard by: Derek

What Is Art? Are We Art? Are Wednesday One-Liners Art?

Older gay guy on cell: In the 60s, you didn't need to have passion or talent to be an artist; you just needed to have a van, because no one else was going to haul your shitty art around.

–7th Ave & 14th St

Overheard by: Miss C

Girl reading sign at Frank Lloyd Wright museum: Oh… He was an architect!

–Guggenheim Museum

Overheard by: Antartic

Mom to little girl: If you look at too much art in one day, you'll turn into a statue.

–MoMA

Guy on phone: Yeah, she said she didn't think I would want to go, but why the fuck not? I'll go to a fucking museum if I fucking want to. I'll look at some paintings and shit.

–Downtown Brooklyn

Overheard by: Mark McLaughlin

12-year-old boy, looking at Picasso paintings: This is totally my thing, man, it's like free porn.

–MoMA

…To Fuck the Statuary!

Crazy old hobo, holding up bags and drawing: Where's the moon? Where's the moon? If the earth is in Columbus Circle, then the moon would be on 64th and Central Park West! Come see my exhibition!
Hipster teen surrounded by giggling friends: Is your exhibition inside those bags?
Crazy old hobo: No, those are Michelle Obama's dresses. You want to be smart with me? Why don't you be smart and become an exhibitionist?
Hipster teen surrounded by giggling friends: Do you know what “exhibitionist” means?
Crazy old hobo: Of course! It's someone who goes to museums every day!

–1 Train

Some Lengthy Wednesday One-Liners

Man on cell walking dog: What? But doesn't she know how big my Johnson is?

–Mott Street

Overheard by: Erica

20-something male, while passing sculpture of male nude: I don't get it. If you're going to make it with a dick, why make it so small?

–Time Warner Center

Overheard by: sd

Short Indian man, loudly into phone: All I wanna do is make love to you tonight… with my 11-inch cock!

–7th Ave & 35th St

Overheard by: Jenn B

Drunk guy, after fighting with girlfriend: How she gon' be mad at me 'cause I got a big dick?

–F Train