Pregnant woman to 3-year-old son: Do you remember what happened last time you licked the subway? That’s right. You threw up. –4 train Overheard by: Leora Parent: My son is only two years old, sittin’ at the bar, talkin’ ’bout “old school.” How you gon’ talk ’bout “old school” when you two years old? I think my brother taught him that. –Merrill Lynch lobby, Broadway & Park Row Mom to 4-year-old: Stop crying and take a moment and think about how you feel. –Broadway & 104th
Hipster guy: I'm really glad your vagina decided to stop throwing up!
Girl: I know! I saved $600 on abortion fees!
–AMC Theatre, 42nd St
Little girl: I’m going to throw up.
Mother: You can throw up when we get off the train.
Little girl: [pauses] I love you, mommy.
Overheard by: Rachel
NYU JAP #1: So, like, do you want to go get margaritas tonight?
NYU JAP #2, grimacing: Ugh. I’m, like, still nauseous. If you, like, say ‘margarita’ again, I might throw up.
–University & Waverly
Conductor: Barf between the cars, asshole!
Girl on phone: Well… We can cuddle, and then I’ll be like, ‘Get off!’ and then I’ll puke, okay?
–JJ’s Place, Columbia University
Overheard by: Rachel Lindsay
Girlfriend pushing drunken boyfriend through crowd, to bystander: Work with me here, baby — he’s throwing up all over you, and you’re still not moving.
–Rained-out Game Two, Yankee Stadium
Overheard by: Alison Steedman & Jeff Gilbert
Woman: There’s no better time to scream your boyfriend’s name than when you’re puking all over his bed.
–Party, 16th St & 1st Ave
Overheard by: McFreaky
Little girl: 50 dollars. But if you vomit, it’s free!
–76th & Central Park West
Overheard by: Rachel
Lady with accent pointing at man hunched over seat: Oh, is he throw up?
Overheard by: fellow rider who also didn’t sit
Little boy to baby brother: Stop throwing up on me!
–3rd Ave & 16th St
Overheard by: Rachel W.
Squeaky blonde: When I feel like that after drinking too much I just totally stick my finger down my throat. I don't wake up with a hangover, and it saves calories too!
–Blarney Rock Pub
Overheard by: Ant928
Dumpy middle aged lady: I haven't lost any weight, but I'm still alive. So… I'm pretty proud of myself.
Girl: You should have to pay by the calorie. That'd make people less fat.
Overheard by: Confabulation Nation
Five-year-old boy to mom: Hey, mom, this energy drink has 10 calories less then the Monster drink!
Overheard by: CatVonD
NYU student: You know when you're on a diet, and you wash your face with apricot cleanser? It smells so good that you just want to, like, eat it!
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: melbert
Conductor, after fat girl vomits and dances on it: Attention passengers, if you are going to vomit on this train, go to the bathroom. If you can not make it to the bathroom, vomit on yourself. Do not dance in your own vomit, and do not vomit on my train. Thank you.
–Babylon Line, Penn Station
Overheard by: Feta Cheese
Little girl: I am looking for the rat that we saw eating throw-up. It was… soooo…
Dad: Soooo awesome… I remember!
–Rector & Trinity
Girl #1: I love cheese steaks.
Girl #2: Me too, they are my favorite drunk food.
Girl #1: They are so bad for you.
Girl #2: It doesn't matter, I'll just throw it up anyways.
(both start laughing)
Bro #1: Hey man, you alright?
Bro #2: (vomits in corner)
Bro #1: You good to drive?
Bro #2, slurring: Yeah…
Bro #1: You got some shit on your chin! (makes wiping motion)
Overheard by: arf