Archive for the ‘Vomit’ Category

Wednesday Coughs Up Some One-Liners

Kid on cell: So I rubbed it really hard and really fast… and I made her throw up. –Marble Hill High School Drinker to friend, while playing flip cup: I will throw up in your pussy wagon. –Whiskey Tavern, Chinatown Woman: I'm really glad it wasn't the Prozac making her throw up… just her other meds. –33rd St & Park Ave Girl: My uterus is vomiting! –Bard High School, Queens Overheard by: Sunny

Wednesday One-Liners, in Brief.

Man eating ice cream while trying to walk: Beanobeanobeanobeanobeanobeanobeanobeano. –49th St and 7th Ave Station Man dressed in green unitard, running in circles: Augghhhhhhhhhh!!! Aughhhhhhhhhh!! Aughhhhhhh!!!! –Union Square Moviegoer, after preview for The Blind Side: Blerrrrrrrrrrghhhhhhhhhhhhhh! (vomiting noises, then audience erupts in laughter) –Regal Battery Park Stadium Movie Theater Teenage boy, taking gum out of his pocket and looking at it: Scrotum! (puts gum back in pocket and walks away) –95th St & Madison Overheard by: Confused

Wednesdays Just One-Linered in Their Mouths a Little

Three-year-old boy to mother: Mommy, there is a baby in your stomach that is making you throw up. –G Train Guy with hand over friend's mouth, encouraging him not to throw up: No! No! No! –Q Train Guy, pleading with girl: Don't go home. (pukes on self) Why do you have to go home? –32nd St & Madison Ave Man standing next to woman throwing up: Beans and rice… No, corn. –Brooklyn Overheard by: Julian

It's Right Up There with “Who Shot JFK?”

Metro-north conductor: This train has five cars open.
Drunk teenage girl: Your mom has five cars open! Your mom's fellatio lips are open too!
(trio sits in row in front of girl and friend)
Drunk girl: I hate you, don't sit here. We're all going to throw up on you. Why are you still here? No one likes you.
Girl's friend: Why are you so drunk?
Drunk girl: That's something we'll never know. –Metro-North