Archive for the ‘Waiters’ Category

They Actually Have to Be in Coldsleep Chambers

Worker #1: It should be really slow tonight, because it’s the holiday where all Jews can’t go out of their houses.
Worker #2: You mean, they can’t step outside at all?
Worker #1: Well, I don’t know if they have to stay in their actual houses, but wherever they are, it’s not here!

–Yom Kippur, Cosi restaurant

If Wednesday One-Liners Can Make It Here, They Can Make It Anywhere

Chick: Nothing says New York like a wire frog. –Battery Park Lady who has loudly complained to the waiter about the poor service: It’s people like that who give New York City a bad name. –Lindy’s, 7th Ave Overheard by: joemikehap Amateur anthropologist: Of course I have a snarky attitude! I’m a New Yorker; it’s practically a requirement! –F train Overheard by: Braincurve Tourist on cell: Yeah! I’m in New York! Yeah, it’s kinda like New Orleans, except bigger and you can’t drink in the streets. –Grand Central Man on bicycle: New York is about freedom! Suck a dick! –Astor Place Overheard by: Laura Guy watching Texas Chainsaw Massacre trailer: See, that’s why I never leave New York. You never see crazy motherfuckers like that in New York…except for niggas on the train. –Regal Cinemas, Court St, Brooklyn Overheard by: Clitoris Rex Little girl: There’s a lot of people in this New York City! –Times Square