Archive for the ‘Waitresses’ Category

Wednesday One-Liners: the Best of Cities and the Worst of Cities

Guy: Yeah, he has this obsession with white weasels. It’s just very New York, you know? –23rd & 8th Overheard by: Kate White Girl: I’m leaving this city, it’s all just bed bugs and bad drugs. –Queensboro Plaza Overheard by: Zach Prudish waitress, to another: In New York, you just come to expect cock-on-cock, ass-on-ass talk… In DC, you don’t. –1 Train Student to friend: You play the paranoid freak, I will play the egomaniac. We will call it "New York". –49th & 1st Thug #1 to Thug #2, while observing typical, plain, Midwest vacationing family getting off a tour bus: Get back on that bus! This New York! You can’t handle this shit! [Teenage kids smile. The father, absolutely horrified, grabs the kids and throws them back on the bus.] –42nd St & 5th Ave Overheard by: Bunk Moreland

Dried-Up Spinal Fluid Is So 1994

Customer: So, what’s new? Been a while…
Waitress: Not much. Kind of a weird day, though. [The owner] was in here with his kid earlier, though, and he was doing E.
Customer: Wow.
Waitress: ‘Wow’ is right. I mean, seriously — who does E anymore? –Pizza Shop, Mott St, Soho