Archive for the ‘Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport’ Category

Wednesday One-Liners Crank the Woofers

Suit: So what you really need to do is put together a social networking site for dogs. –Barfly, 20th & 3rd Overheard by: Matthew K. Johnson Woman: I swear, my parents are only coming to visit so they can see my dog. Honest! –Searchlight, 11th & University Overheard by: MissPinkKate Conductor: Will the man with the small dog in the plastic bag please leave the train. That is not a safe way to be transporting a dog. Thank you. –Bay Head Train Guy riding past on a bike, yelling into his cell: Baby! If the dog is talking, that means one of two things… –24th Ave, Astoria Overheard by: sara n. Woman on cell: But it's not just any day of the year! It's Yom Kippur! (listens) Fuck you, Dave! Fuck you, and fuck your dog! –Prince St Overheard by: elle Woman in elevator on cell (coming from attorney's office): You won't believe what he did! First he staged photos of me in bed with a dog. Then I turn the page and it's me in bed with my next door neighbor! –Vesey St

Wednesday One-Liners Call It “Extreme Sharing”

20-something hipster to friend, punching him in the arm: Dude, you stole my Facebook status! –Central Park Overheard by: dude, just think up a new one! Cable man to another, standing in line at Wendy's: Yeah, I was across the street at Popeyes, but it looked like some man was going to rob the place, so I came here instead. –Flatbush & Ocean Parkway, Brooklyn Overheard by: Anna Crazy lady to pigeon: Get outta here! You ain't gonna get none if you beg. You gotta wait for me to give it to you. (throws bread in other direction) That's why you ain't get none. (a few minutes later, she gets up to leave) Alright. It's been real. Thank for not stealing my potato chips. –Tribeca Park Four-year-old boy to mom: Mom, when you take chips from my bag without asking, you're stealing. We talked about this. We talked about this at length. –Uptown 3 Train Overheard by: This girl from NY

…So They're Still Able to Be Polite

Drunk Yankees fan: Hey there! Can we get two Jager shots?
Coffee shop employee: Uh, we don't have any Jager shots here.
Drunk Yankees fan: Well, what do you have?
Coffee shop employee: Uhh… Coffee? Tea? Lattes?
Drunk Yankees fan: Aww, man! (to friend) They ain't got no Jager shots here! (to employee) Okay, thanks anyway. (they leave)
Coffee shop employee: It's 4:30 in the afternoon… –Coffee Shop, Franklin & Varick Overheard by: yankees fans are special people

Teaching the Indie Kids to Overhear Again

Indie guy: There are so many people here I know from MySpace, but none of them will look me in the face. –Knitting Factory, Leonard Street Guy: God, why is there always something with this place? Who are all of these lame yuppies here?
Girl: Who the fuck knows? But man, I swear, until White people learn how to dance, I am sooo boycotting shows at the Knitting Factory… –Knitting Factory, Leonard Street Overheard by: astralgirl01

The Wednesday One-Liner That Never Sleeps

20-something girl to friend: I'm sorry, but what is the big fucking deal with eating on the sidewalk? Back courtyard? Sure. Rooftop? Fuck, yeah! But the fucking sidewalk? Homeless people up in my face. Loud trucks up in my ears. Carcinogens up in my lungs. I mean… really? New Yorkers are all fucked up. –2nd Ave b/w 6th & 7th Overheard by: Dodd Loomis Ditzy blond tourist: New York is the most foreign place in America I've ever been to! –F Train Overheard by: Chelsea S. Indian guy on phone: I don't wanna be like the Bengali fob! I'm gonna show up and be like the original New York gangsta! –B61 Bus Bar customer to table next to him: I need to visit New York, everyone that visits is always happy. Everyone that lives here in New York is always miserable. –Chambers St Little boy, with great excitement: I just tripped in New York City! –Times Square

Wednesday One-Liners Wish They Could DVR Their Lives, Instead

Young woman on elevator to friend: I have a date this Thursday with a guy I met on, and I was so excited, but then I remembered Thursday is Grey's Anatomy! I mean, I'm DVRing it, but that's so not the same. –Wall St. Overheard by: krazyhippie Large 40-something woman: But I'm not gonna be on Maury sayin', "I'm 100% sure!" Because I'm not! –10th St & FDR 20-something woman on cell: It's white, sleeveless…well, you don't watch Gossip Girl but it's totally Blair-worthy. –W 19th & 5th Ave Appalled girl to friend: So, I guess he just couldn't hold it in and needed to share with everyone around him, so he just shouted out "Fuck! I miss Gossip Girl!" –Mercer & W 3rd Saucy Latina: Telemundo makes BET look like The History Channel. –171st St & Broadway Overheard by: The Low Hat Guy to friend: My girlfriend is cool if you and your boys are…she loves the BBC when she's high. –PATH Station Overheard by: smjcnj 30-something woman on cell: Remember season one of The Hills? What a simpler time. –Columbia University Overheard by: The Evil Triangle