Archive for the ‘Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport’ Category

The Superfluous Eruditeness Of Wednesday One-Liners

Pompous, insane English professor: Right now I am being plagued by a contagion, but I will return your reports anon.

–Barnard College

Student, to friend who just bashed the side of his head: What the hell? You're hurting my ganglia!

–Columbia University

Overheard by: John David

Black mom to teen daughter walking away from her: No, you get back here and listen to what I'm sayin! You gotta pay attention–niggas be instigatin!

–Nassau & Fulton

Overheard by: Tigertail

First year legal scholar: I feel like our relationship is terminated for perpetuity.

–Grand Central

Overheard by: bunbury

Yuppie on phone: Wait. (pause) Bruhaha, right?

–70th & Broadway

Wednesday One-Liners Burn, Baby, Burn

Queer: Hanging out with him is like doing charity work. –Christopher & Bleecker Overheard by: J. Ann Ghetto girl to thug: You can’t touch this. Keep reminiscin’, mothafucka. –106th & Columbus Overheard by: Shmoop Guy on cell: I’ll be real with you, man. I know more than you. I know a lot more than you. –17th & 5th Altruist: He’s really nice so I just fake it sometimes. –Elevator, 120 Wall St Overheard by: Aubrie Teen girl: She did what? Oh my God, she is, like, so off my top 8. –1 train Queer: Well, I do like the person you want to be. –Washington & Charles Loud chick: Who knows how he lucked out into marrying her? I’m just always thinking, lady, you are hot, and yet you married an Ewok. –Starbucks, 71st & Amsterdam Overheard by: Susan Volchok

Wednesday One-liners Know What You Like

Girl on cell: Yeah, baby, I’m all alone in my apartment on my bed. I’m taking my panties off now. Mmm, I’m touching myself, thinking of you. I’m all wet for you, baby. –outside Starbucks, 54th & Broadway Suit on cell: Yes, I’m wearing suspenders. –Wall & Broadway Overheard by: Alexis

Wednesday One-Liners Are So Archaic and Bourgeoise

20-something woman to friend: Man, can I just tell you how absolutely bizarre coffee shop conversations are in this area?! I am never ever getting married if this is the sort of stuff married women talk about all day.

–Smith & Bergan

Overheard by: Mako Shark

30-something to older woman: I can’t get married yet! I haven’t experienced even… half of the women in the world yet!

–86th & Broadway

Overheard by: Carol

Tween boy getting into the face of another tween boy: (loudly) I’ll be your fucking wife!

–Morgan’s Market

Overheard by: Akiko

Little boy: We saw a peanut marrying a princess!

–Penn Station

Overheard by: blue

Girl to friends: I think my husband’s gonna divorce me now that gay marriage is legal.

–N10th & Bedford Ave, Williamsburg

Overheard by: Non Hipster

Woman in a wedding dress and veil, on cell: Yeah, I got kicked out.

–Penn Station

The Wednesday One-Liner That Never Sleeps

20-something girl to friend: I'm sorry, but what is the big fucking deal with eating on the sidewalk? Back courtyard? Sure. Rooftop? Fuck, yeah! But the fucking sidewalk? Homeless people up in my face. Loud trucks up in my ears. Carcinogens up in my lungs. I mean… really? New Yorkers are all fucked up.

–2nd Ave b/w 6th & 7th

Overheard by: Dodd Loomis

Ditzy blond tourist: New York is the most foreign place in America I've ever been to!

–F Train

Overheard by: Chelsea S.

Indian guy on phone: I don't wanna be like the Bengali fob! I'm gonna show up and be like the original New York gangsta!

–B61 Bus

Bar customer to table next to him: I need to visit New York, everyone that visits is always happy. Everyone that lives here in New York is always miserable.

–Chambers St

Little boy, with great excitement: I just tripped in New York City!

–Times Square