Archive for the ‘Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport’ Category

Wednesday One-Liners Can't Go under 50 MPH or They'll Explode

30-something guy to friend: It's just like I always say! The Germans should've bombed New York!

–8th St

Guy with rainbow bead necklace, about protesters of Scientology: Nobody gets the point across without explosions.

–Outside Richard Rodgers Theater

Overheard by: Unlucky at Lotto

Man at Yankee parade: C'mon guys! Did we give up when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor?

–Broadway & Murray Street

Overheard by: Kat

Woman: The last time I blew up my nether regions.

–Imperial Theater, 57th

“Your Mama's So Wednesday, She's a One-Liner!”

Young woman in need of sympathy: You have to forgive me! My mother, she fucked me up! I'm soooo fucked up!

–7th St & Ave A

Overheard by: stephie

Teenage girl: My mom is a fan of "wild sex" on Facebook.

–Starbucks

Girl in red jacket: It's not the whole gay thing, it's the whole sex-in-front-of-your-mother thing.

–Hudson & Varrick

Man to another, across seat: Get up! Get up, fool. Yo' momma don't love you! And if yo' momma don't love you, don't nobody love you.

–E Train

Male NYU student: Yay, my mom's picking me up!

–NYU

Overheard by: George

I'm Too Sexy for My Wednesday One-Liners.

Comedian guy with flyer: Girl, you have some sexy nostrils!

–Broadway

Gay man to another: Next Halloween I am going to be a sexy tub of lard.

–Broadway & Spring

20-something hot girl on cell: So, like, Kristin was supposed to go as a water-boarding torture victim, which is hilarious, but then, she like, um, shows up as a *sexy* water-boarding torture victim, which is better than being, like, all gross and frumpy. But come on… that's not funny.

–Q Train

Creepy old man: When I was was a kid… Coney Island was hot! I mean "sexy." I mean it was… Bam!

–Neptune Ave

Overheard by: taylor

Girl on cell: It's really not like a sexy stabbing.

–Centre St