Archive for the ‘War’ Category

What's More American Than Wednesday One-Liners?

Guy on cell: Come on, one third of Americans don't pay their taxes. I want to be one of them. –7th Ave & Garfield, Brooklyn Guy on cell: Does he know where he is? This is America–this is America. They makin' ice cream every second! I don't know what he's complainin' about, they got chains makin' food 24 hours a day…they even makin' milk on Christmas! –NJ Transit Overheard by: Tess Obnoxious black guy to another: I was watchin' a special on tv last night talkin' about how gays can't be in the war! When they find out the whole America is gay, we're screwed! –45th & 9th Construction worker to another: Hell, I could break down George Bush in a debate. And I'm a fuckin' plumber! (pause) I hate my damn nation… –Dunkin' Donuts, Astoria, Queens Conductor: This is the r local to Continental… Forest Hills… Queens… USA! –R Train Overheard by: Mugsy's Moll

NY’s Homeless Speak on the Issues

A hobo stumbles into the store, yelling things and making everyone uncomfortable. Suddenly, he stumbles upon the rack with copies of the New York Times, an image of Iraq on the front page. He stares in silence for a moment, and says: You think it’s bad being homeless? Imagine being in Fallujah! –Starbucks, 59 St. & 9th Ave. Overheard by: Andrea Two hobos are drinking malt liquor from paper bags. Hobo #1 shakes his head in dismay: …I tell you, I tell you–that’s why they’ll [sic] never be peace in the Middle East. –29th St. & 2nd Ave. Overheard by: Tricia Karsay

Wednesday One-Liners Can't Go under 50 MPH or They'll Explode

30-something guy to friend: It's just like I always say! The Germans should've bombed New York! –8th St Guy with rainbow bead necklace, about protesters of Scientology: Nobody gets the point across without explosions. –Outside Richard Rodgers Theater Overheard by: Unlucky at Lotto Man at Yankee parade: C'mon guys! Did we give up when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? –Broadway & Murray Street Overheard by: Kat Woman: The last time I blew up my nether regions. –Imperial Theater, 57th

He's Not Kidding, Dear Reader

College boy #1: But what if zombies overtook Manhattan?
College boy #2: Then we'd be fucked. Simple as that. They're too many people here, the entire island would be zombies.
College boy #1: But what if we hid out in K-mart? With guns?
College boy #2: You mean the K-mart we just passed? Even if we managed to barricade the doors, there's an entrance to the subway, we'd be fucked.
College #1: I wonder what the zombie survival guide has to say about this. –3rd Ave & St. Mark's

A Farewell to Wednesday One-Liners

Teenage boy, explaining why he joined the Air Force: We've been around since World War II. We fought against the Germans and sank several submarines. We also killed a whale, but that's not the point. –Bard High School, Queens Overheard by: Sunny 20-something dude to friend: Ma-fucking-rines! The Marines! Man, I'ma join up, be a Marine, and go all over the world, fuck, and have babies. I'ma get laid and have a baby in every country: Spain, France… even Pakistan! –50th & 8th Overheard by: camillia* Little boy in army fatigues hiding behind fallen tree: Pow! Pow! Look, mommy! It's the Battle of the Bulge! –St. Mark's Lady with Russian accent to salesperson in outerwear section: I don't like the style, it's not feminine. It's like for soldiers, or Chinese people. –Lord & Taylor, 39th St Overheard by: mira Off-duty MTA worker to another: Britain? Whatever man, we beat they ass with… muskets and shit! –6 Train