Archive for the ‘Washington Heights and Inwood’ Category

Wednesday One-Liners Wish They Could DVR Their Lives, Instead

Young woman on elevator to friend: I have a date this Thursday with a guy I met on, and I was so excited, but then I remembered Thursday is Grey's Anatomy! I mean, I'm DVRing it, but that's so not the same. –Wall St. Overheard by: krazyhippie Large 40-something woman: But I'm not gonna be on Maury sayin', "I'm 100% sure!" Because I'm not! –10th St & FDR 20-something woman on cell: It's white, sleeveless…well, you don't watch Gossip Girl but it's totally Blair-worthy. –W 19th & 5th Ave Appalled girl to friend: So, I guess he just couldn't hold it in and needed to share with everyone around him, so he just shouted out "Fuck! I miss Gossip Girl!" –Mercer & W 3rd Saucy Latina: Telemundo makes BET look like The History Channel. –171st St & Broadway Overheard by: The Low Hat Guy to friend: My girlfriend is cool if you and your boys are…she loves the BBC when she's high. –PATH Station Overheard by: smjcnj 30-something woman on cell: Remember season one of The Hills? What a simpler time. –Columbia University Overheard by: The Evil Triangle

Wednesday One-Liners for Kendra

Young lady: Stupid people have more fun! –Chrystie & Housten Overheard by: Probably True… Middle age woman to young woman pushing stroller: Well, this is a stupid place for a stroller! –Times Square Overheard by: Would the street be safer? Oversized hip-hop boyfriend to undersized girlfriend: I'm being stupid for your benefit. –Duane Reade Woman buying ibuprofen: It's not a virus. My mother's got a headache from everyone being stupid. –Inwood Overheard by: Rose Fox Girl smoking on the sidewalk to smoking friend: He's perfect. Except that he's kind of dumb. But he's perfect! –34th St & Madison Ave Overheard by: Katface

Unlike the Arrogant Production Crews Who Ruin Our Morning Commutes?

Film crew: Hey little girl, can you hold on a second? We're shooting a movie.
Little girl: For real? Can I be in it?
Film crew: No, you're not in costume. You'd have to be a gangster from the '20s.
Little girl: I'm gangsta! Look! (shoots him with fake gun)
Film crew: See those actors? They're in the right costume.
Little girl: They look like poor people. Can I say hi to the poor people?
Film crew: Not right now, we're in the middle of shooting, so we have to be quiet.
Little girl, screaming at top of her lungs: You are sick! You're not gonna let a little girl say hi to poor people?
Film crew, under his breath: This kid's going to ruin my life. –Film Set, 160th St & St Nicholas Overheard by: Natalie

You're No Body 'Til Some Body Wednesday One-Liners You

Girl: He has a really amazing skull. –Bakery, Cortelyou Road Guy to friend: Why is that girls can get away with picking their noses? –170th St & Broadway Loud girl on cell in line at deli: You know I have bladder issues whenever I have sex! –Broadway & Ooper Lady suit, screaming into cell: Colon cleanse! Colon cleanse! Colon cleanse! I need a goddamn colon cleanse! –Staten Island Ferry Overheard by: Colin

Wednesday One-Liners: Unfiltered.

Chick on cell, not visibly pregnant: I'm having a c-section and a cigarette. –Simply Natural, 43rd & 10th Overheard by: Pleased Recurrent drunkard to bar: I'm not a smoker! I'm a libertarian, for fuck's sake! –Peter McMannus Pub LIRR conductor: There will be no pugilism on this train. Additionally, tonight marks the first night of Kwanzaa, and in the spirit of Kwanzaa, I ask you to not smoke on this train. This is the final warning: if you are smoking, you will be ejected at the next convenient stop. Also, no throwing up is allowed on the train. The two places where you may throw up are in the conveniently-located bathrooms, or on yourselves. Again, merry Kwanzaa. –LIRR Overheard by: Jenna K NYU girl: Do you have a cigarette to ease my cough? –Waverly & Mercer Chick: Mad Men is like porn for smokers. –172nd St & Broadway Overheard by: Ladle