Archive for the ‘Washington Heights and Inwood’ Category

Eyeliner Tattooing? Definitely.

Girl: She got it for her grandfather.
Guy: He ain't gonna like that.
Girl: You don't know him.
Guy: All I'm sayin' is unless she wins the lotto, she's never gonna be anything but middle class.
Girl: She ain't even middle class!
Guy: I mean she won't get any better than that. Companies just don't hire people with face tattoos. But maybe it's different for girls. –168th St Overheard by: Acacia Graddy-Gamel

Wednesday One-Liners Must Be from Queens

Woman, texting: How do you pluralize "uterus"? –TKTS Booth Overheard by: DramaPirate Kids entertainer, singing: Do you know what a co-creator is? To create is to make something, and when you co-create, you do it together… –Kindergarten party, Williamsburg Cashier with cookbook: It's got a table of continents so you can see what's in it! –Department Store, 225th St Overheard by: Rose Fox Student: I just love adding "izzle" to the end of words. –Metro-North Coworker: UPS didn't have the tracking information at first, but then they found it… Good thing, because I was about to blow a casket. –Fordham University

Wednesday One-Liners for Bernardo and the Sharks

Chica on cell: He was just white. Like, a white guy. Except Puerto Rican. –Park Terrace West, Inwood Overheard by: Gringo Starr Puerto Rican thug to another, both wearing Puerto Rican flag bandanas as face masks: White people better get used to us. There be like 80 billion of us in the world… Or maybe 8 thousand of us…at least. –F Train Overheard by: Brent Teen on cell: Wait, you're in Puerto Rico? I'll be right there, that's by Chinatown, right? What do you mean it's an island? Like Staten Island? How the fuck did you get there? –Colombus Circle Overheard by: Graham Davis JAP on phone: He called me a clingy JAP! How fucking low! I could've easily pulled the "you're-a-Puerto-Rican-from-Staten-Island" card. –92nd & 5th Guy (shouting): Hey guys! You like Puerto Ricans?! –Times Square Overheard by: CytoFox Dad on scooter with eight-year-old girl: I don't want to hear that… Don't fuckin' push me, Joanna! You are not black, you are Puerto Rican! –Flatbush & Fulton Overheard by: Chelsea

Nothing Like a Spirited Game Of Who's-the-Crack-Baby

Mom, loudly: Who does mommy love?
Screaming toddler, holding cup in stroller: Tee tee tee!
Mom: Mommy loves the baby! And who's the baby?
Child: Tee tee tee!
Mom: Are you the baby?
(child starts crying)
Mom: Oh, stop that! You're old enough to drink a latte, so quit crying. –183rd St & Ft. Washington Ave Overheard by: Anna

Vanity, Thy Name Is Wednesday One-Liners

Girl to guy: And I was like, "He bleaches his asshole, what does he know about anatomy?" –Pratt Institute, Brooklyn Seven-year-old girl to boy throwing mud at her: Watch it, Jakob! I wore eyeliner today! –Fort Greene Park, Brooklyn Very large woman on cell: It's called "Brazilian wax job." You only have to do it like every two weeks. Yep, it itches for a day or two, but it's worth every penny. –PATH Overheard by: Corey Young lady with long curly hair to girlfriend: So, I started drying my hair with paper towels recently. –Montague St, Brooklyn Overheard by: E-Man>Master of the UNIVERSE! Outraged feminine gay guy to another: He's having his lips redone… again! –8th Ave & 20th St, Chelsea Overheard by: Evan Woman on cell: Girl, I don't understand why you gotta put on all that makeup just to go for a colonic! –Washington Heights