Stand-up “Comic”: So did you all hear this? Hitler was gay, apparently.
Heckler: No, Hitler was Jewish!
–Comedy Cellar, MacDougal Street
Overheard by: Chris
Archive for the ‘Washington Square Park’ Category
Actually, I Think We Got the Idea…
Stylish woman: Oh my god! This corn flan is amazing. It’s corn…but it’s flan…I can’t even begin to describe it. –North Square, Waverly Place Overheard by: Christine M.
A NY Story with a Midwest Conclusion
Hobo: Sorry to interrupt, but I’m starving. Please help me to get some candy and a soda.
Chick: How about a perfectly good pear? You know, if you’re so hungry.
The hobo walks away angry and disgusted; 20 feet later he turns around to give her a dirty look.
Chick: Obviously you’re not that hungry–and it’s called pop!
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: James Lin
New York is not America
Guy on cell: Yeah, our lives suck but at least John Kerry was elected President. Oh, wait! I have to hang up now and go kill myself. –Washington Square Park Overheard by: Alice Ayers
Those Wacky Republicans
Chick: He’s like an ultraconservative and he was watching Bush’s speech and yelling and saying “You guys don’t know what’s going on!”. It was crazy. –Washington Square Park
Stupid Answers to Snappy Questions
Guy: Make your own ammonium nitrate! Ask me how! –Washington Square Park Overheard by: Tommy Raiko
It Rubs the Wednesday on Its Skin, or Else It Gets the One-Liners Again
Woman on cell: You did what? No. No, the key is with the handcuffs.
–Barnes & Noble, Union Square
Overheard by: argonaut
Neighbor heard through thin dorm wall: Yeahhhhh, I'm a bad boy. You wanna spank me?
–Pratt Institute
NYU girl to friend: I think Jesus wore latex.
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: Mimi
Hippie woman on cell: Okay, why don't you just untie each other and come on down so we can talk about this?
–50th St & Park Ave
Whether You Find This Cute or Pathetic Says a Lot About You As a Person
Hair-twirling woman: I did actually put sex on the calendar, because it's only been four months. That's not long enough for us to stop having sex yet! And I put it on his iPhone, so it popped up a reminder in the middle of the day too, and was all, “don't forget, sex tonight!” He was like, “this is the worst idea ever.” And then we had dinner and the alarm went off and I was like, “we have to have sex now, the iPhone said so!” And we did… and afterwards he was like, “that was amazing, why don't we do that all the time?”
–W 4th St
Overheard by: Rose Fox
The Don Draper Costume, for Instance.
Older musician in nice suit: It's Halloween! Hell, every day is a Halloween!
Friend: That explains a lot about you.
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: stavka
Wednesday One-Liners Are Beautiful, Dammit!
Man to woman on lunch date: Pussy makes the world go round. When you're 85, dyin', you don't want to regret it if you never got to stick your head up there, or whatever. You wanna die sated.
–Madison Square Park
Overheard by: Christine
Man, as two women approach: Vagiiiiiina, vagiiiiiiiiiiiina, vagiiiiiiiiiiiiiinaaaaaaa!
–Washington Square
Overheard by: Joe
Hipster on cell: I don't even know you! I do not want to see your vagina.
–Park Ave & 22nd St
Overheard by: Sophia
Suit on cell: I'm gonna cut off her cunt and make her wear it as a hat!
–Times Square
Teenager to friend: That girl has a Stargate vagina. You put it in and, bam, a kid pops out!
–Catherine St & Madison St
Girl at speed dating event: …like my vagina!
–Watering Hole, E 19th St