Archive for the ‘Washington Square Park’ Category

Wednesday One-Liners Rob the Cradle

Teen: I'm 14 years old and I'm still a virgin…how sick is that??

–Simon Baruch Middle School

Overheard by: the art major

Random old guy: The only thing I like more than children is more children.

–Barnes & Noble, 83rd & Broadway

Overheard by: Maianess

20-something guy to friend, casually: Oh, yeah, and the high school girl doesn't want a relationship.

–Washington Square Park

Overheard by: rachelandkaceyfuckup

Hipster girl to a group of friends: I can't date him. It would be like dating a kid, and not like in a really good way. (awkward silence) Uhm, not that there is a really good way to date a kid.

–Grand Central Station

Guy: You can do that to a girl but you can't do that to a guy! That's child molestation!

–Astor Place

Overheard by: inching away

Professor: Did I ever tell you? I used to work at a carnival operating the kiddie rides. (laughs) And no! I never became a pedophile!

–Wagner College

Overheard by: good to know

“It's a Small Wednesday One-Liner After All”

College girl: Yeah, the worst part about Africa was that we, like, didn't go out!

–Starbucks

Overheard by: Noemi

Shabby-looking blue collar mom to distinguished older Indian woman: Ohhh! I have always wanted to go to Bollywood! I love East Africa and Asia! I wanted to buy a bonsai tree, but they are way too expensive.

–5 Train

20-something, looking at Washington arch: There was something like this in France.

–Washington Square Park

Overheard by: M

Guy on cell: I swear I didn't have sex with her when I was in Norway.

–Lower East Side

Dude, Nobody Listens to The Wednesday One-Liners Anymore

Young woman on cell: So I said to him, are you going to listen to Barbra Streisand forever?

–Christopher & Bleecker

Overheard by: Korky

20-something girl: I'm a teenager! I collect pogs and say "suck it," and listen to Kriss Kross!

–Washington Square Park

Overheard by: Claire H.

Guy: Man, these guys are like The Beatles of my generation.

–In Line for Cypress Hill Show, Nokia Theatre

Burly MTA contractor: I mean imagine if it was a dude singing "I kissed a guy and I liked it."

–Chambers St Subway Station

Overheard by: sarah

Trendy girl: I can't believe they charge $1.29 for a song now. What song is worth $1.29?!? Well, I guess "Don't Stop Believing" and "We Are the Champions"… basically any Queen song.

–Coldstone Creamery, Astor Place

Overheard by: Any Britney Song

20-something girl to 20-something boyfriend: Don't dress up like Elton John because I want you to. Dress up like Elton John because you want to.

–Halloween Shop, 11th St & Broadway

Wednesday One-Liner Is Murder

Black man: I can never watch you eat sausage again. It was the most awkwardly erotic thing I've ever seen. It was the perfect combination of food and female.

–Pratt Coffee Shop, Brooklyn

Overheard by: Maryrose

Boy to friend: And then the teacher said: "and that's the history of ham"!

–Queens

Overheard by: alex

Young woman on cell: Well, I would go to Gray's for hot dogs with you, but I can't. I gave up tubed meat for lent.

–Washington Square Park

Overheard by: Caroline

Cute teen girl: It'd be like a floppy bag of meat… (pause) I'm not talking about dick!

–Starbucks

Woman placing drive-thru order: And two junior bacon cheeseburgers. Actually, I don't want the bacon. I don't want to get the swine flu.

–Wendy's Drivethru, Brooklyn

Overheard by: Oh the Pig-manity!

Upset Orthodox Jew mother to baby in stroller: Bacon!? Who told you about bacon!?

–West End & West 100th St

It Rubs the Wednesday on Its Skin, or Else It Gets the One-Liners Again

Woman on cell: You did what? No. No, the key is with the handcuffs.

–Barnes & Noble, Union Square

Overheard by: argonaut

Neighbor heard through thin dorm wall: Yeahhhhh, I'm a bad boy. You wanna spank me?

–Pratt Institute

NYU girl to friend: I think Jesus wore latex.

–Washington Square Park

Overheard by: Mimi

Hippie woman on cell: Okay, why don't you just untie each other and come on down so we can talk about this?

–50th St & Park Ave