Archive for the ‘Waxing’ Category

“Wednesday One-Liners” by Mennen

45-year-old woman: So I ended up shaving it, and it looks so pretty! It's like I'm ten years old again! –Houlihans Restaurant Overheard by: remembers when she was ten years old Girl on cell: Wait. The dad shaves the son's ass? –Columbia University Overheard by: McFreaky Guy in shower to guy in the next: Man, I am never shaving my pubes again. –Pratt Institute Overheard by: traPt Guy with a bunch of tattoos: The sex was great, but she was psychotic. Every time I shaved she would accuse me of having had oral sex with another woman. –86th & Amsterdam Overheard by: Alan British woman on cell: Are you shaving? Your face or your balls? –13th & Broadway Overheard by: Just around

Wednesday One-Liners Are Big Fun

Girl: Imagine if you're fat? You would die. –College of Staten Island Overheard by: Nameless Girl on cell: I just don't trust her, she's fat. Fat girls always cause problems. –3rd Ave & 40th Overheard by: Liz Overweight teen girl to friend: It's like, I'm kind of hungry but like I don't feel like eating anything. (a minute later to cashier) I'll have three bacon cheeseburgers, large fries and a frosty. –Wendy's, Union Square Overheard by: I was starving and bought less 14-year-old girl to group of friends: I don't skinny dip, I chunky dunk. –18th St & 2nd Ave Overheard by: Will Senior ad exec to junior art designer: What the fuck doesn't this guy understand? The machine literally sucks fat out of your body! So we can't show a girl with a huge ass and huge thighs in the ad! Get it the fuck together! –49th St & 8th Ave Overheard by: agree to agree 20-something girl: I think I look fat when I don't have armpit hair. –Canal & Mott

Easy, Breezy, Beautiful: Wednesday One-Liners

Woman on phone: So, should I continue not being a whore or should I go get an emergency Brazilian? –Lexington Ave & 58th Girl to friend: No, I can't do tomorrow afternoon. I am getting waxed for the weekend. Just in case. –3rd Ave & 80th St Salesgirl to customer: You so have an exfoliating face! –Sephora, 57th & Lexington Overheard by: Amanda Creepy hobo on payphone: So, you're doing your nails? Mmmmmm… –Bleecker & Thompson Overheard by: Thompson Girl with pounds of makeup on: Yeah, I'm going on lunch right now. I am so exhausted, I did five makeovers today. Yeah, I am so tired…I had a butch. –Elevator, Macy's Overheard by: K Melv Thug: All I want is a mani-pedi. –72nd & Central Park West Overheard by: wb

Trans Day at Shea

Drunk guy #1: Alright, just saying, if all of us and our friends were chicks, who would get a boob job?
Drunk guy #2: Oh, definitely Mike*. You know, I would definitely say him. He's pretty vain.
(two innings and many beers later)
Drunk guy #1: Alright, if we all were chicks, who'd be clean shaven?
Drunk guy #3: It'd be Steve*. I mean, he already manscapes! –Shea Stadium Overheard by: Number 6 Headline by: stephie Runners-Up:
· “Alright, If We All Were Chicks, What Base Would You Go to With Me?” – Rosie
· “And Which One Would Go Lesbian With Me?” – Meredith
· “And to Answer Your Next Question, Frank Already Does Anal So…..” – I’d shave too.
· “How We Ended Up Giving One Another Head, But Not in a Gay Way” – Rionn Fears Malechem
· “Then Raise Your Beers and Answer Me This, “Who Would Swallow?”” – Bobo D Clown
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Wednesday One-Liners Cunt Hardly Wait

Thuggette: She just went in there to scoop her vagina out and then she came back. –Hudson River Park Teenage girl on cell: Yeah, I got a Brazilian wax for the first time yesterday. And now I'm afraid of the power of my own vagina. –1 Train Overheard by: westchester girl Adorable little girl: I was born in 2002, from my mom's vagina. –New York Harbor Overheard by: Barry P. Man to woman: Ohhhh, is she the one with maggots in her vagina? –51st & 9th Overheard by: Highstein Chick on cell: Tell her to put that in her pipe and smoke it. Or even better, in her vagina. (sarcastically) Ooh, penetration! –Penn Station Overheard by: Poogins Very large black man: My penis' jus' as impo-tant as her vagina.
Small meek white man: (nods in agreement or fear) –A Train

Well, That Is the Default Setting

College girl #1: So I think I’ll just get the whole thing waxed, so that the next time I go, it just won’t hurt that much.
College girl #2: I don’t get it.
College girl #1: Like, I’ll be hairy the first time, so it will hurt, and then when I go back, I’ll be like: “Oh, that wasn’t as painful as the first time.”
College girl #2: Shit, shut up! You’re so loud! Now that guy knows you have a hairy vagina. –Union Square Train Station Overheard by: the trainman

All Porn Points to “Yes”

Asian boy: So I went on a date with this guy -and this has happened before- he asked me if I shave my arms! And I was like: “No… I’m Asian.”
White girl: Are Asians hairless? –5 Mott Street Overheard by: Laura B Headline by: Toby Runners-Up:
· “Asians Also Lack a Four-Chambered Heart.” – Matthew
· “Later He Asked Me If I’d Had Penis Reduction Surgery” – Jazz Musician
· “Racism Isn’t Waning – It’s Waxing” – Alchar Haven
· “What Do You Think We Are, Mammals?” – kew
· “Why Anime and Furries Just Don’t Mix!” – GeekGrrl
· “Yes, But We All Buy the Same Wigs” – Melissa
· “Yes, It Makes Us More Aerodynamic So We Breeze Through Those Math Classes.” – JohnnyB
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