Archive for the ‘Waxing’ Category

Five O’Clock Shadow?

Guy #1: Did I tell you I saw a woman’s pussy on the train today?
Guy #2: Nah, man.
Guy #1: Yeah, this chick sat opposite me in the shortest skirt, and her pussy was just like, BAM! There!
Guy #2: No way! She had no panties?
Guy #1: Of course. She was Hispanic.
Guy #2: Was that shit shaved?
Guy #1: I… uhhh… It was definitely buzzed.

–12th & Washington

What a Perfect Venue to Discuss This In

Chick #1: I mean, you are like totally naked on a table from the waist down.
Chick #2: Were you totally embarrassed?
Chick #1: Well, it hurts so fucking much that you are like in pain shock, and you can’t even think about whether you are embarrassed or not.
Chick #2: Do you, like, talk to the woman?
Chick #1: What the fuck are you supposed to say? “How do you like my vagina?” And after she rips, she quickly presses down on my vag with her hand, as if that dulls the pain.
Chick #2: Oh, god.
Chick #1: Then she rubs you down in calamine lotion. –Burrito Box, 9th Avenue

Then a Colony, and Then an Island

Girl: Didn’t you say pubic hair came back in style?
Guy #1: Yes, thank god. I hated the Brazilian wax. Made me feel like a pedophile.
Guy #2: What’s a Brazilian wax?
Girl: It’s when everything goes. Totally bare.
Guy #1: Yeah. Brazilian originally meant “ass wax only.”
Guy #2: And then it became a country? –West Broadway between Thomas & Duane

Those Were Beetle Eggs

Girl #1: Want to hear something horrible?
Girl #2: Sure, what?
Girl #1: This morning I went to get a Brazilian but the lady left some wax in my ass and it keeps chafing me…I’m in so much pain! –South Street Seaport Overheard by: Craig B.

Never Give Grammy Your Phone Number

Guy on speaker phone: Hello?
Girl: Hi! I’d like to schedule a bikini wax.
Guy on speaker phone: Um, I don’t do those professionally. Just sort of as a hobby.
Girl: Oh, ha ha. Well, can I schedule an unprofessional bikini wax?
Guy on speaker phone: I’m not certified. My technique is too controversial.
Girl: Controversy makes me hot.
Guy on speaker phone: Who the hell is this? –M66 bus