Archive for the ‘We Love Our Pets’ Category

Well, Judging from the Barrel of Liquor Around Your Neck…

Girl #1: And then he said that when he sees people, he likes to picture what kind of dog they’d be. Apparently I’m a Golden Retriever, and he’s a German Shepherd, and those breeds just don’t mix.
Gril #2: That is fucking messed up.
Girl #1: I know! He is so delusional! And he would so not be a German Shepherd.
Girl #2: No. (long pause) I wonder what type I’d be.

–Starbucks, 103rd & Broadway

Wednesday One-liners, American Idols

Tourist: Oh my god! That’s Maggie Gyllenhaal. She’s like, actually walking down the street! –Magnolia Bakery Overheard by: Jessica Blackshear JAP: Do not mention that freaking African queen and her recycled husband! –The Prime Grill, 49th Street Twentysomething woman on cell: I’m gonna be late because I had to walk Drew Barrymore’s dog. –in front of American Apparel, 7th Ave

Who's a Good Wednesday One-Liner? You Are!

Serious man to dog: I am very disappointed in you. I expect more of you than that.

–Carroll Gardens

Overheard by: Sunny

Woman to pooping Jack Russell terrier: Don't even pay attention to all those people who are looking at you. They all poop too. Everybody poops!

–University & 9th

Little girl, angrily to her dog for going at a mural: You just peed on Barack Obama!

–East Village

Overheard by: Z

Woman to dog: No, we can't go in there; that's an evil pet store.

–50th & 9th

Overheard by: Natalie

Woman to her dog: You know, there are a lot of crazy people in the world. That's why I trust your opinion so much.

–Tompkins Square Park

Overheard by: Jessie