Archive for the ‘We Love Our Pets’ Category

California's Almost Far Enough

Hippie woman: Ma'am, what did you just feed my dog?
Elderly woman: A treat.
Hippie woman: What was it? Was it meat?
Elderly woman: Well, not really, it was a sausage.
Hippie woman: What is wrong with you?! My dog is a vegetarian! What if he had a food allergy?!
Elderly woman: Right. Go away. –Thompson Square Park Dog Run Overheard by: Klayton

Wednesday One-Liners for the Crazy Cat Lady

Guy on cell: I guess you’d rather spend time with your cat than me. That’s cool. –Brooklyn Heights Thug to girl calling for cat: You lost your cat, baby? Shit, this is Brooklyn, there’s so many street cats out here they probably ate your cat. –Franklin & Classon, Prospect Heights Brooklyn Teen, talking about guitars: You can never have too many. They’re like cats. –17th & 8th Girl on cell: Yeah, I want one too, but we should start with a cat and see how that is. You know, play it by ear. –86th & Lexington Overheard by: Is that how it works? Girl: If I looked like a cat’s poop hole I’d still want to be loved… and eaten. –JFK

It Reeks of Wednesday One-liners

Wednesday One-liners Spell It “Aminals”

The Lightbulb Moment That Would Change Peter's Life Forever

20-something chick: I still think the dog toy looks like a butt plug.
20-something guy: If there is such a thing.
20-something chick, with shocked face: Are you serious? Yes, there are butt plugs.
20-something guy: For what?
20-something chick: For people.
20-something guy: For *what*?
20-something chick: Nevermind.
20-something guy: No! Tell me! For *what*? –Dallas BBQ, Chelsea Overheard by: Saaaandwich?

How Much Is That Wednesday One-Liner in the Window?

Man eating brunch to male friend: We both came out seven years ago. We are puppy gay in dog years. –Big Daddy’s Diner Overheard by: Morgan Very loving mom talking to daughter about her son: Hey! He is not an animal, he is not a dog. Well, at least not today! –Hell’s Kitchen Outraged woman to man: What? No! Do not put the dog in the furnace, Ted! –Court Street Chick with cigarette, on cell: … Leathery fetish dog-masks, or just Halloween style dog-masks? –Outside Tagine, 40th & 9th Overheard by: Ladle Philosophical suit: The only reason I haven’t divorced my wife is because of the dog. –Upper East Side