Subway conductor: Ladies and gentlemen, we are being held up by dispatch because we have a sloooooooow moving "a" train. Thank you for your patience. And don't forget, blame the "a" train; it ain't our fault.
Overheard by: Alice
Conductor: We currently are waiting behind another 7 train… Slow movin' bastards.
Overheard by: They really were
Conductor: You do not want to take the 4 or the 5, because they will not be setting any land speed records.
Jaded MTA conductor: We're being delayed because of signal problems up ahead. There's a train in like every station. Because of the cold weather we've got signal issues; we're moving as fast as we can, it just might take a while. MTA: "might take a while."