Chick: I love his mole. It’s like Matt Damon…he has a mole. –Starbucks, W. 4th St. Chick: I think it’s sexy that he went to art school. Her two friends start laughing immediately. –Jane, Soho Overheard by: Tamika J.
Archive for the ‘Wednesday One-Liners Vary’ Category
Mother of Wednesday One-liners
Mom: I don’t know. I think you have to be, like, 21 to go to outer space. –83rd & Amsterdam A six-year-old stops coughing and asks: Mommy, why did you cover my mouth? –Q Train
Europeans Speak on the Issues: The ESB
British Woman: So, what’s the purpose of the Empire State Building again?
British Man: It’s a sign of American power.
–Empire State Building
Overheard by: Katherine O’Brien
Little Italian Guy: I’ll bet this whole building weighs at least a thousand pounds.
–Empire State Building (365,000 tons)
Overheard by: Stomach Aches
Wednesday One-Liners Will Cut a Bitch.
Middle schooler on field trip: Oh my god, we're gonna get knifed.
–Times Square
Woman on cell: Do you have any chainsaws I can borrow?
–38th & 2nd
Harley Davidson dude to another: So I stabbed that guy, and that guy, and then that guy.
–7th St & Bedford Ave
Overheard by: NYCQ
Woman on cell: Today is not the day. I can't come to 14th Street or I'll stab you.
–42nd St & Ave of the Americas
Overheard by: Matthew
The Child Is the Father Of the Wednesday One-Liner
Flamboyant hipster Latino to straight-looking Latino boyfriend: Someday he'll call you daddy, and then all hell is gonna break loose.
–Ave C & 16th St
Lady to nine-year-old boy: I hate to tell you, but your dad is in jail. He owes me a lot of money!
–R Train
Guy on cell: Yeah, look, I told you. Your bail was set at $18,000. The bail bondsman wants 10%. Where the fuck am I supposed to get $1,800 to bail your sorry ass out of jail? (pause) Yeah, I love you too, dad.
–33rd St b/w 7th & 8th Ave
Overheard by: Jason
FedEx delivery guy on cell: How the hell did Halle Berry get pregnant without me being the father?
–Spruce St
Overheard by: janine
Wednesday Conga Liners
Man on cell: Yeah, so do you know that show Dancing with the Stars? They got the idea for it from the camera in my shower.
–6th Ave & 55th St
Overheard by: Alicia
Aging badass to lady friend: Yeah, I totally got escorted out of a Tom Petty concert for dancing in the aisles.
–17th St & 5th Ave
Overheard by: Original Badass
Black guy: Hey everybody! Stop what you're doing! There's two black guys about to dance on this train! That's something you don't see often!
–A Train
Flamboyant gay man to friend: You can't sashay in there. There's no room to sashay at all.
–Outside LGBT Community Center, during Fur Ball
Overheard by: pandarants
Drunk Asian girl: It's always time to dance in North Korea.
–2nd St & Ave B
Wednesday One-Liner Cheney
Guy to friends: She walks like she has a huge dick, that's how she walks!
–Office Building, 34th St & 3rd Ave
Overheard by: Spacedog ears
Drunk guy: So I put my dick in the hard drive.
–10th St & Ave A
Overheard by: guy walking dow street friday
Girl on cell: I can't compete with his dick!
–L Train
Overheard by: fuhggedaboudit
Angry hot girl to friend: Even if he's the biggest swinging dick in the world, so what?
–10th St & 5th Ave
Overheard by: jennifer tobias
Angry middle-aged woman to silent husband: I come home, I want some gin and some dick.
–59th St & Lexington Ave
Overheard by: Dave
Wednesday One-Liners: Glug Glug Glug, Ahh!
NYU student to another: I haven't been drinking as much since I turned 21.
–Duane Reade
Overheard by: Rogelio
College girl to friend: I wasn't drunk, I was just cheerful.
–Canal St & Mott St
20-something girl on cell: He was drunk and fucking his demon ex-girlfriend.
–181 & Ft. Washington
Guy in dirty army clothes to another: I was still drunk, thank god Dunkin' Donuts was open.
–D Train
Middle aged guy on cell: That's what happens when you drink, motherfucker! You can't remember shit!
–Brooklyn
Overheard by: Aron
Wednesday One-Liners' Next Stop Is Meth
Man shouting to woman nearby: Yo! You better hurry up. I got you a ride. I'm going straight to the bridge, and I ain't stopping for no crack!
–Amsterdam Ave & 92nd St.
Overheard by: Dana
Girl in dress to friends: And that was the first time I sucked dick for crack…
–10th St & Ave A
Man to another as he walks away: Don't spend it all in one crackhouse.
–SoHo
Woman, yelling at man twenty feet ahead: Hey! Don't walk away from me. At least you got crack yesterday!
–Broadway & 96th St
Wednesday One-Liners' Next Stop Is Meth
Man shouting to woman nearby: Yo! You better hurry up. I got you a ride. I'm going straight to the bridge, and I ain't stopping for no crack!
–Amsterdam Ave & 92nd St.
Overheard by: Dana
Girl in dress to friends: And that was the first time I sucked dick for crack…
–10th St & Ave A
Man to another as he walks away: Don't spend it all in one crackhouse.
–SoHo
Woman, yelling at man twenty feet ahead: Hey! Don't walk away from me. At least you got crack yesterday!
–Broadway & 96th St