Girl: I would totally eat the shit out of a cupcake!
–St. Mark's Place
Mom to little boy crying after dropping popsicle: I'm not buying you another one!
–Central Park
Overheard by: Katherine
Thin blonde girl: I love food. I wish I could make love to this cookie…
–NYU
Very hot girl in expensive outfit to guy walking away: Oh, so looking at candy and toys is more important than my need to go to the bathroom?
–82nd & Central Park West
Archive for the ‘Wednesday One-Liners Vary’ Category
Wednesday One-Liners in Velour Hats with Leopard Trim
Pimp to player across the street: Yo! Stay over there, this side's for pimps and that side's for players. I'm a pimp. Lemme show you that pimp walk! (starts walking down the street, gets to player) How you like that, playa? That's how we do it, pimp style.
–115th & 7th, Harlem
Overheard by: beeloo
Female college student: Valentine's Day? Girl, pimps don't do Valentine's.
–1 Train
Girl on cell: I feel like a pimp, I say hi to everybody.
–86th & 4th, Brooklyn
Elderly man to even more elderly man: I'm gonna pimp-slap you right down on the street!
–Times Square
Wednesday One-Liners Are Here to Fix the Cable… (Bow Chicka Bow Wow!)
Midwestern tourist woman walking into trashy store: I hope this isn't a porn shop!
–Times Square
Overheard by: Jingles
30-something woman on cell: I'm not bringing the baby to the porn convention!
–Hilton Theater
Man on phone: Did you say "corn" or "porn"?
–Onion News Network
Overheard by: Kaze
Man to wife: Don't worry, I don't need to upgrade. That's what porn is for!
–40th & Broadway
Overheard by: mel
Wednesday One-Liners Prefer Sexting
Young female 20-something to another: Don't you ever learn anything? You can't sleep with your boss!
–42nd & Madison
Overheard by: Eric S
Guy to another, outside Apple store: Well, first you have to find him, then fund him, and then fuck him.
–14th St
Girl on cell: I've had really bad first base that turned into really good sex.
–LIRR
Overheard by: Rob Gioia
Woman in too-tight business suit, screaming into cell: Listen, buddy, I can always find another fuck buddy!
–Upper West Side
Overheard by: Nunez
Wednesday One-Liners Love Drunk Talk
Drunk girl with tinsel in her hair: Alright, so why is in my history that it says "thehugestcock.com"?
–Starbucks, Sheridan Square
Drunk guy: The Amazins? Fuck them! The only amazin' thing about them is they never fucking win…
–Downtown 6 Train
Drunk man at 1:30 am: Vagina bar!
–49th St, Astoria
Drunk girlfriend to even drunker boyfriend: Ohmigod! I have to get up in five hours and teach!
–116th St
McWednesday One-Liners
MTA conductor: This train is going to run express. The next and last stop is McDonald's… I mean Astoria-Ditmars Boulevard.
–W Train
British teenager: They didn't even spell it right, it's "Mac Donald's," not "mc"!
–McDonald's, Bowery & Bayard
Student to class: I ate a McGriddle last week, and it was like eating a baby angel.
–Classroom, NYU
Frantic foreign lady: Is this the train that goes to McDonald's?
–F Subway
Overheard by: laura
Wednesday One-Liners Find Nemo
Woman on cell: Number one: I'll tell you what you can do with that fish. You can shove it right up your ass! (pause) Number two: You know what you can do with that fish? You can shove it right up your ass!
–Steps, The Met
Overheard by: gossipgirlish
Boy to mother: Mama, can we surprise grandpa with a catfish?
–Central Park East
Overheard by: walter
Woman reading map: No dead fish in Nebraska.
–D Train
Overheard by: Sunny
Girl to guy friend at hip hop show: That chick just sprayed her coochie with perfume. Now it smells like a fish died and the other fish sent flowers.
–Voodoo Lounge, 1st Ave
Sugar N' Spice and Everything Wednesday One-Liner
Fat girl to herself: Walk by the cakes, walk by the cakes.
–Grand Central
Sales guy: We've got your whale, now you want to get a cupcake?
–FAO Schwartz
College girl to friend: Yay! Someone is guarding the queer cupcakes!
–Lerner Hall, Columbia University
Little girl: I want ice cream! (mother keeps walking) You're fired!
–125th St & Broadway
Overheard by: Rose Fox
Wednesday One-Liners for Pauly D.
Guido: It just depends where you put your penis.
–South Street Seaport
Guido on cell: Can I get a blowjob with that too? (pause) Mmmm ,yeah. Where are you right now?
–Wagner College
Overheard by: Ferch
Guido: I'm about to go back to Men's Warehouse and be like, "what the fuck?"
–51st St & Park Ave
Overheard by: Confabulation Nation
Puerto Rican girl: That's it! Koreans are like Asian Guidos! Except they don't tan…
–59th & 10th
Overheard by: shawn
Wednesday One-Liners Involve a Lot Of Concentration
Film Nazi: The Holocaust did give us some good movies.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Tom and Katie
Suit on cell : And they were playing loud Nazi music.
–Lincoln Center
Hip dude on cell, very casually: Sieg heil, my friend, sieg heil.
–Queens.
Girl: If it's about the Holocaust, it's going to get me hard… Not where I was going with that.
–55th & 3rd
Overheard by: seeareuh