Archive for the ‘Weed’ Category

A Lot of What, Now?

Girl: I’m going to be speaking Spanish for a month, and I’m going to come back and be so good at it, but then I’ll have a month before classes start and I’ll forget all of it!
Boy: That’s because you smoke a lot of weed. –6 train Overheard by: Veronica

…Pipe Wrench. What?

Employee #1 on phone: So, I’m at your apartment and I found your pipe, but I can’t find your–
Employee #2: Dude, stop… You’re on speakerphone! –Office, 44th & Broadway

We Heart Wednesday One-Liners, Now More Than Ever

Guy to friend: Oowee! Some weed and a perm! That's my perfect New York day. –West Village Overheard by: Joe Conductor: Step in, stand clear…let's go New York! –1 Train Overheard by: Ashley Nelson Intoxicated creepster: Are we in Manhattan? What the hell! This city is so full of New Yorkers! –St. Mark's Place Overheard by: Lizzzzz Bitter man on subway: I think one summer here would cure them of any love they have for this town. –1 Train Passerby to surprised-looking wife, watching fight: They're fighting. It's New York, that's what people do in this city. –City Hall Overheard by: ascorbique & almost famous Grinning paramedic to female tourist in shock, strapping her to backboard after she was struck by a car: Welcome to New York! –34th St & 7th Ave Overheard by: Mateo que Feo

Wednesday One-Liners Are the Idols of Millions of Suburban White Boys

Thug to friends: Look, whatever, but I have never found myself with a girl who has no face. –Columbia University Thug: Yo, I got a huge blunt in my pocket… Oh, wait, that’s my inhaler. –Q train Overheard by: djingo Thug: Fuck that. Fuck that, nigga! If Bill Gates offered me 20 billion dollars to suck his cock, I’d swallow. Fuck. –Brooklyn College Overheard by: I would, too. Thug athlete, after soccer game: You always be playin’ that shit. You play that shit here, you play that shit in basketball, you play that shit in choir… –Prospect Park Overheard by: this guy Thug on cell: I don’t know where I was, but they’s Germans everywhere in this hood! They on my left, right. Damn! [Looks around anxiously] Now I know how Patton felt, son! –14th & Driggs Teen thug to friend: Yo, man, have you looked at a map of Manhattan? Know what that shit looks like?! –W 79th Overheard by: Nikki W.

Just outside the Blast Radius of an Impacting Piano

Mysterious liquid falls out of the blue sky and lands on three guys walking together. Dude #1: What the fuck was that?
Dude #2: It smells like bong water! Dude, that is karma getting back at you, and we’re suffering for it, too.
Dude #3: Yeah, Gabe, from now on you walk 20 paces ahead of us. –Bleecker Overheard by: Max