Guy: Okay, here’s the plan: we paint your van, then you have sex with Susan, then I’ll have sex with…someone else. Then we both smoke a lot of weed… –1st Ave Overheard by: chris & daile Teen boy: Yo, I just stopped smoking weed, cause, like, I heard it was bad for you. So I started smoking cigarettes again. –G train Queer on cell, taking deep drags of cigarette: No, I’m not! I told you I quit. [Exhales] Umm, that was just me blowing my bangs out of my eyes. –Outside Bally Fitness, 50th St Smoker: I read somewhere that if you quit smoking by the time you are middle aged your body can still recover, and I thought, “Great I still have a couple more years to quit.” Then I read what they define “middle aged” as. I’m fucked! –Upper East Side gallery
Woman: That was our daughter. She's not gonna make it. Kyle's running late so brunch is turning into late lunch.
Man: “Late lunch”? That's code for “pot”!
Overheard by: never heard that one before
Black street dealer: Coke? Weed, my brotha?
Desi dude: I’m not black, I’m Indian, my nigga.
–St. Mark’s & 3rd
Overheard by: Innocent XXX
Roommate #1, from kitchen: Hey, have you seen my pot?
Roommate #2: Wait… The one you cook with?
Roommate #1: Yeah.
Roommate #2: Oh! Uh, no.
Headline by: usual suspect
· “Awkward Moments Like This Are Why Chamber Pots Went Out Of Fashion” – allison
· “Guess I’m Using the Water Bong to Make Noodles Then…” – Zuel Beast
· “LIES! You Know You Meant BOTH!” – Whee!
· “The Meth Lab Was Never As Well Organized As the Living Room” – batou187
· “Wait, Did It Have Doritos in It?” – Jay Walke
· “Wait, the One You Put the Brownies In, or the One You Put in the Brownies?” – j3rry
Click here to see the new Headline Contest
Guy #1: Have you been hitting the grass again?
Guy #2: Have you ever wondered what it would be like to be orange?
–Stuyvesant High School
Overheard by: Jerry
Yuppie in the west village: “The thing about pot is that it slows everything down.”
Teacher #1: …and I smoked weed, so my friends staged an intervention. They said, “We reeeally want you to stop smoking.” And I was like, “All right, but you all have to try it once to see what it’s like.” Well, twice, not just once, ’cause you don’t get high the first time.
Teacher #2: You get high the first time!
Teacher #1: Not everybody does.
Teacher #2: So you made your friends smoke weed?
Teacher #1: I didn’t make them smoke. It was a choice. –4 Train Overheard by: Kaitlen
A hipster girl, walking down Bedford Ave in Williamsburg, talking on her cell phone: “I didn’t realize what a good boyfriend Matt was…. yeah… he’s too nice, too together, too in touch with his emotions… his only problem is that he doesn’t smoke pot.”
Lady: Excuse me sir, can I bum a ciga…oh, you’re smoking a joint. –3rd Ave. & 12th Street Overheard by: David H
Guy at ATM to friend: The $60 fast cash button should just be labeled "8th of weed."
–Chase Bank, Astor Place
Probation officer to juvenile: You think you can't get arrested for marijuana? Are you out of your damn mind? You're taking a drug test right now, you out-of-your-damn-mind son!
–Bronx Family Court
Overheard by: Adog
Guy to girlfriend: The more stoned I get, the better you sound.
–72nd St & Broadway
Guy: So then I smoked a goodnight bowl at Chris's.
–E 10th St
Overheard by: What about a good morning bowl?
20-something to friend: I'll save the world second, but I'll get high first.
–Houston & Essex