Archive for the ‘Weed’ Category

C'mon a My Wednesday One-Liner!

Man on phone: Come down the road and I'm the first house that you do not see. –Office Building, W 46th St Overheard by: TheGreenCat Black woman on cell: Don't fuck in ma house! –Union Square Station 10-year-old boy to another: Yeah, my mom says I can fuck a girl in her house, as long as she ain't a skanky-ass ho. –105th & Broadway Overheard by: Andy Girl to friend: We can't hang out at my house. I don't know anyone there anymore. –125th & Broadway Overheard by: EthanK Guy cycling past very fast, to cycling companion: So he bought a whole house just to store pot? –Prospect Park, Brooklyn Overheard by: peeper City cop to two homeless guys: If your house is worth like $200,000, you can probably only get a equity loan for like $100,000. (homeless guys nod their heads in agreement) –Madison Square Park Overheard by: E

Where Would This Site Be Without the Hobos?

Trinidadian hobo: Step into the car and please don't block the doors. There's another train directly behind this one. Biiing-bonnng! That's from the old cars. This is how they do it now: “Dingdong!” (recorded “if you see something, say something” message plays; hobo recites the message along with it, mimicking perfectly.) “Tell a police officer or an MTA employee.” Or tell me, because it might be a bag o' money. Or weed. But if it's only a nickel bag of weed, just turn it in to a policeman. If it's a 500-pound bag, give it to me! I need that haze! Now, here's a picture of my wife. Two years ago, on Easter Sunday, my wife passed away of a massive heart attack. I want you all to know about this because I want you all to know I'm still single. The ladies, that is, not the men. I'm not gay. I have gay friends, but I'm not gay. I'm a lesbian. I'm a lesbian because I love what they eat! –4 Train Overheard by: Aloof Loner

“That'sa Spicy Wednesday One-Liner!”

Drunk guy, matter-of-factly: Everyone comes in here and thinks they're smelling pot, when really they're just smelling Italians. –Hammerstein Ballroom Men's Room Young girl on cell: Well, I mean, I have eaten macaroni. Does that count as Italian? –Grand Central Overheard by: Kayla Monetta Man on cell: And this guy smelled like shit! (pause) Yeah, I told him, "you smell like Italian." –E 10th & 3rd Ave Overheard by: molina1230 Loud bridesmaid at Guido wedding: I'm Sicilian from the waist up, American from the waist down. –Brooklyn Botanic Garden College guy to friend: From the minute they got here, they started eating. Italian feasts are pornography. Italian food is illicit sex to the puritans. Everything the puritans eat is bland and brown. –Brooklyn College Middle-aged, pot-bellied guy with a long pony-tail, stopping young woman on the street: Excuse me, but I just want to say, once you've had Italian food, you're not hungry for anything else. I just ate a calzone and now I'm going to go home and just go to sleep! –8th St & Broadway Overheard by: Not hungry either

Just One More Hit of Wednesday One-Liners

Conductor: Attention, ladies and gentlemen, there’s a slight delay due to reports of somebody smoking crack… and other stuff… on the back of the train. –Church Ave Overheard by: Katie & Jaime Teen girl, to older woman: You ‘posed to eat. Ain’t ‘posed to smoke no rock! –Classon & DeKalb Queer in RA’s office: Now, when we got there they were selling hash brownies and weed muffins — we were in Amsterdam — and everyone else was trying some, so I figured I would, too. Then we went to the Anne Frank Museum, and of course that’s when they started kicking in… –Fordham University, Lincoln Center Overheard by: Wishes he heard the rest of the story Man on cell: I know, but then they started smoking crack on stage. –10th St & Stuyvesant Guy on cell: I’m at Stuy High… Whaddya mean ya don’t know what that is?! Gotta know where the weed’s at! –Near Stuyvesant High Man to concerned woman: Don’t think of it as buying weed from a drug dealer. Think of it as supporting a cottage industry. –Christopher & Bleecker Overheard by: amused priest

Wednesday Sung Liners

Metalhead, playing guitar and singing: Buy some fuckin' poptarts /buy some fuckin' weed/ buy some fuckin' cigarettes/buy everything you need! –Washington Square Park Overheard by: j Singing hobo pushing cart: I am wiiiise. I am wise! –Union Square Station Overly flamboyant gay guy, singing: I kissed a girl and I liked iiiit. (swishes hips while walking) –11th St & 7th Ave Overheard by: Mal Sullivan Singing gay guy to another, clapping hands in rhythm: You look like a cunt, you act like a cunt, you smell like a cunt, you feel like a cunt… –2 Train Overheard by: drew Hobo, getting into train and taking out electric guitar and amp: Ladies and gentlemen, may I have your attention please! This song is for the white lady with the orange pocketbook. She reminds me of Martha Stewart…when she got out of jail. (starts singing) 3 train white lady is my girl, my girl, my girl! –Downtown 3 Train Overheard by: Jingles Little girl in stroller, singing happily: Doe, a deer, a hee-hale deer. Ray, a drop of golden pee-pee… –E Train