Hobo: It’s not like I even mean to keep talking. I don’t wanna keep talking. They fucked up when they started making Taco Bell Doritos. They take away the molasses! Why? Because they know I like it. I smoked crack with the FBI. Hasta la vista, nigger. Next time I see you, I’m gonna blow crack smoke into your head, you fucking bitch. –W Train
Yuppie: We shouldn’t be using our brains to simulate monkeys. –Broadway & 72nd
Yuppie: I don’t think he’s working now. All he ever talks about is monkeys and robots.
Lady: Let me get a half pound of ham, sliced thin,
Deli guy: Is this thin enough?
Lady: Yeah, so long as I can watch TV through it. –Bensonhurst
Hipster chick: Ugh, dolls. Dolls are so creepy. I’m never letting my kid have a doll. Drugs, yes. Dolls, no. –UES
Three policemen are talking to a man inside Two Boots Pizza behind the security gate and locked front door, 9 am Sunday morning.
Cop: How did you get in here?
Man: I woke up here in the middle of the night!
Cop: Do you work here?
Man: No! –Avenue A
Guy: Of course I’ve drank kerosene. But it wasn’t like I used a cup, though. I used a siphon. –Astoria Overheard by: Stephie Russell
Chick: He’s like an ultraconservative and he was watching Bush’s speech and yelling and saying “You guys don’t know what’s going on!”. It was crazy. –Washington Square Park
Girl #1: …you think it would have been OK, all I had was a pastrami sandwich.
Girl #2: Well, that’ll certainly keep him out of your butt for a while… –2nd St. & Ave. A
High School Girl: Yeah, he’s like older, and really successful and stuff.
High School Guy: Is he critical?
High School Girl: Yeah. Totally critical. –6 Train