His Baby’s Momma: He don’t pay child support. He don’t ever see her. That’s it! I’m calling his fucking parole officer! –West Village
Young Son: Is there a Mars eclipse, too?
Father: There’s no Mars eclipse, there’s Marzipan, but no Mars eclipse. –Watching the eclipse, West Village
Yuppie in the west village: “The thing about pot is that it slows everything down.”
Old Southern Man: …so I said, if yer stoopid, you shouldn’t try and show it; you should try and hide it. –Soho NYU Guy: I didn’t wear my moccasins today, Arthur, and I’m still freezing! –W. 13th St. Overheard by: Dan Winckler
Guy on cell: Are you serious?…You really should stop smoking weed and smoking crack. –CVS, 6th Ave. & Bleecker
Bag Lady: It’s always the same! It’s always the same!
Woman: Would you like this [crust]?
Bag Lady: No, I want a whole pizza! –Joe’s Pizza, Carmine St. Overheard by: Rachel W
Lowlife: I hate shopping.
Yuppie: You have to love it, because we really need to avoid this look. –W. 8th & Broadway Overheard by: Tibbie X
Guy to friends: She walks like she has a huge dick, that's how she walks!
–Office Building, 34th St & 3rd Ave
Overheard by: Spacedog ears
Drunk guy: So I put my dick in the hard drive.
–10th St & Ave A
Overheard by: guy walking dow street friday
Girl on cell: I can't compete with his dick!
Overheard by: fuhggedaboudit
Angry hot girl to friend: Even if he's the biggest swinging dick in the world, so what?
–10th St & 5th Ave
Overheard by: jennifer tobias
Angry middle-aged woman to silent husband: I come home, I want some gin and some dick.
–59th St & Lexington Ave
Overheard by: Dave
Gay guy: I don't know, like, I've just had such a bad week, it's been terrible.
Friend: It's like A Series of Unfortunate Events, dude!
Gay guy: You're so right. Count Olaf is like, all up in my grill!
–8th & University
Overheard by: sophie
Man to woman in restaurant bar: Do you live around here?
Woman: I live at 21st and Broadway.
Man: Oh, that's a nice area.
Woman: Yeah, but tomorrow I'm moving to a bad area. The Upper East Side.
–Palma, West Village
Overheard by: Kristina Feliciano