Statler: My kid just told me he’s making the ultimate sacrifice.
Waldorf: Really?
Statler: He told me that it’d be okay for the Red Sox to beat the Yankees, as long as George Bush loses the election.
Waldorf: My god.
–14th Street YMCA
Archive for the ‘West Village’ Category
I Blame Woodrow Wilson
Yuppie: I just really hate the Garden State mentality. –West Village
…And He Has a Blog!
Girl #1: His name is Alan Golder?
Girl #2: Yes, he was on America’s Most Wanted and Unsolved Mysteries. They call him the ‘Dinnertime Bandit’.
Girl #1: What does he steal?
Girl #2: High-class jewelry. Bvlgari, Tiffany, DeBeers.
Girl #1: Geez, talking about stealing the family jewels.
–Centro-Fly Nightclub, West 21st Street
Overheard by: Peter G
Paging Sigmund Freud
Guy: Hey, Liz! Whatever happens, don’t turn out like my mom. –Quantum Leap, Thompson St.
Those Wacky Mexicans
Old Coot: When you take over someone’s empire, you get more of them coming in. I turned on the ball game, and the stadium was all Spanish! This guy came to talk to me from the Daily News, and it turned out to be El Diario! –Carmine St.
“Shove it!”
Man: I can’t eat ketchup. It makes my scalp sweat. –West Village
“And Your Pussy Looks Like…”
Woman #1: And then she said, your ass looks like my dog!
Woman #2: She’s right.
–West Village
Wednesday One-Liner Cheney
Guy to friends: She walks like she has a huge dick, that's how she walks!
–Office Building, 34th St & 3rd Ave
Overheard by: Spacedog ears
Drunk guy: So I put my dick in the hard drive.
–10th St & Ave A
Overheard by: guy walking dow street friday
Girl on cell: I can't compete with his dick!
–L Train
Overheard by: fuhggedaboudit
Angry hot girl to friend: Even if he's the biggest swinging dick in the world, so what?
–10th St & 5th Ave
Overheard by: jennifer tobias
Angry middle-aged woman to silent husband: I come home, I want some gin and some dick.
–59th St & Lexington Ave
Overheard by: Dave
And He's Not Even Cute
Gay guy: I don't know, like, I've just had such a bad week, it's been terrible.
Friend: It's like A Series of Unfortunate Events, dude!
Gay guy: You're so right. Count Olaf is like, all up in my grill!
–8th & University
Overheard by: sophie
Where the Society Ladies Circle Like Sharks
Man to woman in restaurant bar: Do you live around here?
Woman: I live at 21st and Broadway.
Man: Oh, that's a nice area.
Woman: Yeah, but tomorrow I'm moving to a bad area. The Upper East Side.
–Palma, West Village
Overheard by: Kristina Feliciano