Archive for the ‘West Village’ Category

Some Potty Humor, Courtesy of Wednesday One-Liners

Lady suit: Do you think anyone would notice if I just popped a squat and urinated everywhere? –Port Authority 12-year-old girl: And then… He, like… peed in my mouth. It was kinda gross. –Eddie’s Sweet Shop Overheard by: Yorick Man peeing on the street: Watch the stream, watch the stream! –W 4th St & 6th Ave Overheard by: Maya G. Black guy to coworker: What about that golden shower I had the other night? –NYU Weinstein Dining Hall Middle-aged convention female attendee: I didn’t know that urinals flushed. Did you know urinals flushed? Who would have thought? –Javits Convention Center Overheard by: Hector Drunk man to embarrassed friend: Did I tell you about the time I peed on a bum? For real, I did! I was just taking a leak and looked down like: "Oh shit, is that a person?" He looked up on me and said: "Hey, you just peed on me!" And I did! I peed on him! Then I put myself in his shoes like: "What if someone peed on me?" I’d be pissed! That’s some fucked up shit, man. So I gave him ten bucks. –A Train

Boys Don't Wednesday One-Liner

Mom to small children: Well, we all have parts. And these parts talk to our bodies and tell us we are a boy or a girl. And sometimes these parts get confused. –Washington Square East 20-something girl to male friend: You're a dirty girl! You're a dirty girl! You're a dirty girl! –N Train Overheard by: TR Mother to gender-transitioning son, questioning plans for surgery: Are you a boy trapped in a girl's body? I'm getting a face lift, and it's because I'm a young person trapped in an old person's body. –39th & 9th Man in yellow and green track suit and aviator sunglasses: Nah, I can't go. That's when I'm having my breast reduction. –Columbus Circle Overheard by: Ems Teenage boy: I don't wanna be on that block, son! I know too many trannies on that block! –Bedford & Grove Overheard by: How many is too many? Guy on cell, leaving message: Hello, Dave. This is your mother. –Tisch School of the Arts Overheard by: Bruce Lee Teen boy: Fear me, I have vaginitis! –Staten Island Ferry Overheard by: Jingles

We Heart Wednesday One-Liners, Now More Than Ever

Guy to friend: Oowee! Some weed and a perm! That's my perfect New York day. –West Village Overheard by: Joe Conductor: Step in, stand clear…let's go New York! –1 Train Overheard by: Ashley Nelson Intoxicated creepster: Are we in Manhattan? What the hell! This city is so full of New Yorkers! –St. Mark's Place Overheard by: Lizzzzz Bitter man on subway: I think one summer here would cure them of any love they have for this town. –1 Train Passerby to surprised-looking wife, watching fight: They're fighting. It's New York, that's what people do in this city. –City Hall Overheard by: ascorbique & almost famous Grinning paramedic to female tourist in shock, strapping her to backboard after she was struck by a car: Welcome to New York! –34th St & 7th Ave Overheard by: Mateo que Feo

Wednesdanimal One-Liners

Man to friend: I don't know what made him think he could outrun an alligator! –Sheridan Square Overheard by: Lory Father to young son: Holy shit, Joey, look at the turtles! They're stackin' and rackin' 'em! –Central Park Zoo Mom to kid, pointing to seal exhibit: Look! Otters! –Central Park Zoo Overheard by: Rebecca Young man, joyfully throwing his arms in the air: Then all of the lemmings go off of the cliff! –The Village Overheard by: Aaron