Archive for the ‘West Village’ Category

Wednesday One-Liners Love Drunk Talk

Drunk girl with tinsel in her hair: Alright, so why is in my history that it says "thehugestcock.com"?

–Starbucks, Sheridan Square

Drunk guy: The Amazins? Fuck them! The only amazin' thing about them is they never fucking win…

–Downtown 6 Train

Drunk man at 1:30 am: Vagina bar!

–49th St, Astoria

Drunk girlfriend to even drunker boyfriend: Ohmigod! I have to get up in five hours and teach!

–116th St

Who's a Good Wednesday One-Liner? You Are!

Serious man to dog: I am very disappointed in you. I expect more of you than that.

–Carroll Gardens

Overheard by: Sunny

Woman to pooping Jack Russell terrier: Don't even pay attention to all those people who are looking at you. They all poop too. Everybody poops!

–University & 9th

Little girl, angrily to her dog for going at a mural: You just peed on Barack Obama!

–East Village

Overheard by: Z

Woman to dog: No, we can't go in there; that's an evil pet store.

–50th & 9th

Overheard by: Natalie

Woman to her dog: You know, there are a lot of crazy people in the world. That's why I trust your opinion so much.

–Tompkins Square Park

Overheard by: Jessie

Wednesdanimal One-Liners

Man to friend: I don't know what made him think he could outrun an alligator!

–Sheridan Square

Overheard by: Lory

Father to young son: Holy shit, Joey, look at the turtles! They're stackin' and rackin' 'em!

–Central Park Zoo

Mom to kid, pointing to seal exhibit: Look! Otters!

–Central Park Zoo

Overheard by: Rebecca

Young man, joyfully throwing his arms in the air: Then all of the lemmings go off of the cliff!

–The Village

Overheard by: Aaron

You Cheeky Wednesday One-Liners!

Girl to roommate, after dog-sitting: I'm sad… I don't have anyone to stick their wet nose in my tushy.

–96th St & West End

Guy dressed as Santa: I just need my butt to evaporate.

–6th Ave & Waverly

Older black dude to another: She know I ain't go fuck with her, as big as her ass is.

–10th Ave & 28th St

Overheard by: julie

Frustrated tall boy: Does it look like I have an ass? No! It does not!

–Bard High School, Queens

Overheard by: Sunny Lawrence

Boys Don't Wednesday One-Liner

Mom to small children: Well, we all have parts. And these parts talk to our bodies and tell us we are a boy or a girl. And sometimes these parts get confused.

–Washington Square East

20-something girl to male friend: You're a dirty girl! You're a dirty girl! You're a dirty girl!

–N Train

Overheard by: TR

Mother to gender-transitioning son, questioning plans for surgery: Are you a boy trapped in a girl's body? I'm getting a face lift, and it's because I'm a young person trapped in an old person's body.

–39th & 9th

Man in yellow and green track suit and aviator sunglasses: Nah, I can't go. That's when I'm having my breast reduction.

–Columbus Circle

Overheard by: Ems

Teenage boy: I don't wanna be on that block, son! I know too many trannies on that block!

–Bedford & Grove

Overheard by: How many is too many?

Guy on cell, leaving message: Hello, Dave. This is your mother.

–Tisch School of the Arts

Overheard by: Bruce Lee

Teen boy: Fear me, I have vaginitis!

–Staten Island Ferry

Overheard by: Jingles