Archive for the ‘Wheelbos’ Category

Wednesday One-Liners Were Extras for the Thriller Video

Dude: I once saw Donald Sutherland get pushed up a flight of stairs by a ghost in a hotel in Toronto.

–Sheraton Hotel, 52nd & 7th

Overheard by: Matthew Rick

Queer: Vampires are sooo ’80s.

–7th & 2nd

Overheard by: Esther

Wheelbo: I don’t like to tell people this… But I’m a monster!

–72nd & Amsterdam

Bartender: If you touch the leprechaun, there is a fine.

–Brooklyn

Crazy guy on train: Those scheming connivers — they send Romans and zombies after you.

–V train

Overheard by: other end of the train

Man asking friend in earnest: … But where are you going to get that many werewolves?

–12th & 3rd

Overheard by: Marty

Hipster: All she needs is a vampire to keep her warm.

–30th & 3rd

Overheard by: buffy fan

Wednesday One-Liners, in a Nutshell.

Man in car at stoplight on cell: Yeah, so I grabbed a towel for my nuts and ran down the stairs. Yes, I covered my nuts. So I run down the stairs covering my nuts with a towel because I knew where the smoke was coming from!

–127th & Lenox

Street tough to guy in wheelchair: So you kicked him in the nuts? (shrugs) Yeah, word.

–E 2nd St & Ave C

Overheard by: Ben Couch

Crazy man: Where's Howie? Where's my favorite nut-nut?

–Hanson Place

Overheard by: JBeck

Dude on cell while riding bicycle: It's hanging off your nuts?

–Williamsburg

Mom 20-something daughter heading to Penn Station: Should we grab our nuts, at least?

–7th Ave & 34th St

Overheard by: Just don't grab my nuts

Can Civil Engineering Correct This Lack Of Civility? Discuss.

(nurse with elderly lady on wheelchair comes against Asian American pregnant woman with baby in stroller)
Nurse
: Oh my, I'm sorry! (pulls back to let woman and child pass)

Asian American pregnant woman: Oh, I'm sorry, I can…
Senile old lady: Get out of the way, chink!
(infant cries)
Asian American pregnant woman
: Excuse me?

Nurse: Oh my god! I'm so sorry.
Senile old lady: Don't apologize!
(nurse backs up and lets mother and child through)

–Washington Square Village

Overheard by: zgoldberg

Wednesday One-Liners Are Older, but No Wiser

Crotchety old Jewish lady, passing Palm Sunday parade: Easter is for amateurs.

–W 72nd St & Broadway

Overheard by: Naomi Choy Smith

Little old lady looking down steep basement stairway: Wow…I wouldn't want to be drunk going down those stairs!

–Broome & Essex

Old guy: I'm going out for a smoke. If you see someone take this jacket, shoot to kill.

–Starbucks

Old man with beard, hunched over walker, watching couple holding hands: You two been doin' the nasty, ain't ya?

–27th & Broadway

Old black lady in wheelchair: I mean, what was he gonna do with a dead body?

–Bowery

Overheard by: Lauren

Very old man to another, in thick New York accent: Ya gotta take it…and put it on ya rectum like this. (demonstrates with hand gesture)

–53rd St & 10th Ave

Elderly gentleman to another: From now on, you will obey me!

–Carnegie Hall

Every One-Liner Has Its Wednesday

Well-dressed black girl to well-groomed black standard poodle with owner: Oh, look at your nice hair! You work it girl!

–22nd St & 6th Ave

Overheard by: Tigertail

Middle-age woman to overgroomed poodle, as it takes a dump in the middle of the sidewalk: Ohhhhh! Charlie, that's looking a bit creamy! Yum, yum! (pause as the dog sniffs his mess) No, don't eat it!

–14th St & University Place

Overheard by: Bee

Crazy hobo in wheelchair, to small dog on leash passing by: Meow. Meow! Meow!

–Union Square

Large black man to his shaggy dog: Just because it's there doesn't mean you can pee on it. That's a nice bike!

–9th St & 50th St

Overheard by: EmGusk

Man trying to control his barking dog: No! No anxiety! Bad dog! No anxiety!

–St. Mark's & Ave A

Overheard by: french bulldog with narcissism

Wednesday One-Liners Don’t Understand the Caucus System

Bleach-blonde: I would totally vote for McCain if Miley Cyrus were his running mate.

–Columbia University

Overheard by: Democrat

Woman: Oh, I am definitely a single-issue voter. And right now, that issue is: Which one of the candidates can get me to a bathroom soonest?

–7th Avenue, Park Slope

Overheard by: Chuckell

Drunk hobo to a group of pigeons: And they’re all Democrats. Can’t trust them Democrats.

–Washington Square Park

Young African American woman speaking animatedly on cell: … Vice president? Why should I run for Vice President, I’m doing better than you, bitch! "Dream ticket!" That’s why I hate white liberals. They don’t know when they’re fucked up. Republicans don’t give a shit about you, but they know it.

–124th St, Harlem

Drunk wheelbo, shouting across the entire ferry terminal: Hillary, Hillary, she’s our man! If she can’t do it, no one can!

–Whitehall Ferry Terminal

Lady on cell: When you done turn Governor, you can’t play dat shit…

–Associated Supermarket, Myrtle Ave, Brooklyn

Overheard by: PdQ