Preppy white girl, about friend's shirt: I wanna party like a rock star!
Punk guy friend: So you want to play a show, shoot up heroin, fuck a stranger, then do it all again in another state the next night?
Preppy white girl: I don't wanna fuck strangers!
–Queensboro Plaza
Overheard by: diex-romantic
Archive for the ‘White People’ Category
Wednesday One-Liners Giggle and Snort
Nerdy serious white guy: See, that's what's great about going to Afghanistan. I'm no good at talking to women.
–N Train
Overheard by: annearchist
Nerd walking into archaeology class from noisy hallway: Do you hear the roman legion?
–Hunter College
Nerdy guy on cell: Yeah, she's an exhibitionist. She needs to be punished, but who's going to do it?
–JCPenny
Geeky Korean kid outside high school: I'm not really bad. I'm, like, medium-bad. You know, like, bad… But still good.
–Flushing, Queens
Overheard by: Samantha
Nerd to another: Your entire belief system is based on the rotundity of Darth Vader… That is a farce.
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Nicole
The Wasteland Of Wednesday One-Liners
Guy to security guard: We're not fucking tourists, man, we're just trying to get back to our home in Jersey.
–Port Authority
Overheard by: Confabulation Nation
Metrosexual guy: There are two kinds of people I will never, ever, date. One are people who are culturally ignorant. The second is people from New Jersey.
–45th & 5th
Overheard by: Mr. Pink
Proper British woman to loud drunk guy: Go back to Jersey!
–BB King Concert, Christ United Church
Overheard by: bb
Uptight 40-something white guy: I can't wait to get safely back in New Jersey!
–A Train
Overheard by: JoshBob
If I Recall Correctly, You Paid That Debt.
Ratty old white man: I don't owe you nothin'.
Dirty old black woman: You owe me a solid two hundred.
Ratty old white man: A solid dick in the ass, maybe.
–Central Park
Overheard by: DKF
It Was a Two-Xanax Climax
Black guy: So was he fun last night?
White girl: He came so much that it made me nervous.
Black guy: No more freshman for you!
–Outside Parsons The New School for Design
Awww
Really hot, butch Asian gay guy: It really just depends on the guy… I mean, I suppose versatility interests me. (looks away suspiciously, downs drink)
Really hot, butch white gay guy: Definitely. Versatility is key. I mean, I don't think I could ever date a total top. You're not a total top, are you?
Really hot, butch Asian gay guy: Not anymore.
–Bar, 51st & 9th
And Look What Happened to Them.
Drunk white girl #1: African Americans smoked a lot of weed back in the day.
Drunk white girl #2: Yeah! That's why they're so strong and shit today. Weed is what made the blacks strong!
Drunk white girl #1: Oh… Did I say “African Americans”? I meant to say “American Indians.”
(both laugh)
–Outside Le Bar Bat, Hell's Kitchen
Little White Girl Doesn't Get Uptown Much
Little white girl on cell: Well, of course he's hot, he's big and black and can't take the sun!
(looks at large black man next to her) I mean, he's a cat, and all furry and stuff!
–125th St & Lenox
Overheard by:
According to This Guide to Exotic Travel
Upper East Side white boy #1: Yo, dude, you can't take 10-dollar bills out of an ATM!
Upper East Side white boy #2: In the South Bronx you can…
–59th & 3rd
Ms. Zellweger Really Needs to Stop with the Plastic Surgery
(white guy says long phrase in Chinese to Asian girl)
Asian girl, annoyed: I am not even Chinese!
–Brooklyn