Archive for the ‘White People’ Category

Scott Baio Is 45…and a Wednesday One-Liner

Man to woman: You wouldn't procreate with Boomer Esiason, even though he's the king of Cincinnati?

–Deli, Canal & Hudson

Overheard by: Uncle Bling

Man on cell: Elvis made ten million dollars last year and he's dead. There's no reason I can't make a thousand.

–Park Slope

Hipster: I like Steve Buscemi a lot more than I like you.

–Life Cafe, Bushwick

Overheard by: D

Woman in Southern accent to man: Look, the McGraw-Hill building. Tim McGraw and Faith Hill must own that building!

–W 49th St & 6th Ave

Overheard by: Michael

Middle aged white man to friend: I finally figured it out. "Mystikal" sounds like a constipated Samuel L. Jackson.

–LIRR

…Where Our Editor is Moving To As We Speak

White guy #1: I just came back from a doctor visit, I’m loaded with prescriptions, Zanax, Viagra, I got everything, man.
White guy #2: Yeah, you got painkillers?
White guy #1: Hell yeah, I’m a Vet, any time I get sore, I take
one. I’m good, shit, I don’t even have to pay for these things.
White guy #2: Can I get some Vicodin?
White guy #1: Nah, see that I don’t got, you got to go down to this bar in Bay Ridge. Where are you from?
White guy #2: Sunset Park. –86th & 4th, Brooklyn Overheard by: Nosey Girl