White guy: Hey, you wouldn't happen to have any sunscreen by any chance, would you?
Friend: I'm black.
–12th St & 8th Ave
Archive for the ‘White People’ Category
Simon Cowell: Your Wednesday One-Liner Was Just Horrible!
Crazy man, singing in deep tenor voice: Meow! Meowwwwwwww! Meowwwww! Meowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!
–Cooper Square
Overheard by: Bruce Lee
White woman, singing: That's the way/uh-huh/uh-huh/I like it! Brrr! Cock-a-doodle-do!
–23rd St
Overheard by: Rose Fox
Thug, quietly to friends: Daaaamn, yo! I just wanta teabag that ho! (starts singing loudly) Come back girl, I juss wanta teabag, o, I juss wanta teabag yo ass!
–Outside Tech College, 31st & 10th
Woman in bathroom stall, singing operatically: I don't have a care in the world! (sneezes) Oh my god! Damn it!
–Actor's Equity Building
Overheard by: Natalie
Boy, singing: Vagiiiiiiinas… They're eeeeverywhere, vagiiiiiinas…
–Bard High School, Queens
Overheard by: Sunny
Hobo, singing: I don't neeeeed no money! (pause) Well, that's not exactly true, that's just the words to the song.
–4 Train
Overheard by: Chris K.
Let's Duke It Out, Freshwater Trout!
White guy exiting bodega: Yo! As-salam alaykum!
Middle Eastern guy behind counter: Hey! Kick his ass, sea-bass!
–Astoria
Overheard by: ChrisW
Some Countries Blame the Juice for Everything
Tall, gay, black guy: Girl, I learned a lot watching that movie. There's a lot of sexism in Sweden.
White female friend: Who knew? You'd think they'd be more advanced.
Tall, gay, black guy: And apparently, they have a lot of anti-semenism too.
–Film Forum
Overheard by: Peter K.
So It Was Your Final Solution?
Black bro: And based on what she texted me, I had to hit it!
White bro: So did you hit that?
Black bro: Bro, she was German!
–86th St & Amsterdam Ave
Overheard by: Waiting for the M86
Psh, That's What You Said About Blowjobs.
Young black guy to old white man, about installation art piece: See this one? That's called conceptual art.
Old white man: So whoever buys it puts it in the corner of their room?
Young black guy: Well, it's not really meant to be sold…
–Arario Gallery
Disclaimer: Offer Expires Once You're Pregnant
Young black man outside barber shop: Hey, lady!
White lady, digging through her purse: Oh, hi…
Young black man, sitting and gesturing: What you digging for? My heart is right here!
–Jamaica Ave & Parsons
Overheard by: Lady Walking By
Aren't You from the South Bronx?
White girl: So, how are you finding Atlanta?
Black girl: There are a lot more black people than I've ever seen.
–Broadway & 56th
Overheard by: marie
…But I'm Only a Lady When I Feel Like It.
Tall skinny white woman in the bathroom: Um, excuse me, this is the ladies room.
Shorter heavy-set black woman: What, are you kidding? I am a lady! (laughs)
Tall skinny white woman, blushing: Um…
Shorter heavy-set black woman: White people, ya either love 'em or hate 'em… Man, I am a woman.
–Jamaica Air Restroom, JFK
Tonight's Movie: They're Just Not That Into Jew
White man: Obama's lettin' in all the Jews, man! I'm tellin' you–1.25 million Jews! This park is gonna be overrun with Jews!
Woman with swastika tattoo: When I was in jail… (inaudible) gangrene… (inaudible) elephantiasis of the foot!
–Union Square Park
Overheard by: Helene