Archive for the ‘White People’ Category

It’s Not Reparations, But I’ll Take What I Can Get

Black guy: Yeah man! You could jump in the tracks right now!
White guy: Are you sure the subway Superman will appear?
Black guy: Trust me, I’m sure.

–W 4th St station

Overheard by: ron cabrera


Headline by: Earl


Runners-Up:
· “…like WMD sure… or Jesus sure?” – k swin
· “Able to convince morons in a single sentence” – Erin
· “Another Supporter of Urban Darwinism” – ToddS
· “He’ll show up in 15 minutes with a spatula and a bucket of bleach” – Rob
· “It’s a Bird! It’s a Plane! Ah Fuck, It’s a Train.” – Justin
· “Kunta Kinte’s Revenge” – micah576
· “Malcom X’s Plan B” – Chris
· “That cold-death feeling just means he’s got you” – Leigh
· “Thinning the herd, Manhattan-style” – Tom Beckett




Click here to see the new Headline Contest

Wednesday One-Liners: Straight, Not Narrow

White woman to friend: Wow, this is a great place to meet straight people!

–Madison Square Garden

Dude to female passenger: If I was straight, I'd be hitting that, but I'm not straight, so I won't be hitting that.

–Downtown A Train

Overheard by: Maggie

Yelling blonde: What's my type? He should be straight, that's my type.

–68th & Columbus

Amateur philosopher: If I wasn't straight, I'd totally be gay.

–Edward R. Murrow High School, Brooklyn

Overheard by: Headaches

Teen girl to friend: They're not gay! They're just old!

–Park Slope

Overheard by: Peter

Which Is Why So Many Moved Over Here

White teen girl #1: Oh my god, he is, like, so caliente! Haha, I just said that like the biggest white girl!
White teen girl #2, sarcastically: What, you say that like you’re not proud of being a white girl!
White teen girl #1: Haha… Well, I’m not actually white. My nationality is European, which is actually much better than white.
White teen girl #2: Yeah, totally.

–Q101 bus, Ditmars Blvd, Astoria

But My Underwear Is Solid Gold

White guy with dreads: Think about this — taking a shit is the one thing in which all people of all races, sexes and religions are truly equal.
Hippie girl: Not exactly. Some people shit on solid gold toilet bowls while others shit in a bucket.
Little boy at next table, standing on booth seat: I shit in my pants! Hahaha!

–Wo Hop, 15 Mott St

Overheard by: Big Larry