Archive for the ‘White People’ Category

Or… Uhhh… to Make a Social Commentary on the Oppression of African Americans?

Older white woman: Can you tell me where you have the Ku Klux Klan Christmas cards?
Young Hispanic clerk: Excuse me?
Older white woman: A friend of mine told me he saw KKK Christmas cards somewhere, and I’m trying to find them. I know it doesn’t sound too nice, but I think he’s just going to use them to make a black joke or something.

–Hallmark

Overheard by: Black woman trying to maintain her cool

Lifestyles of the Wednesday One-Liners and Famous

Rich girl to friend: I couldn’t decide between the Marc Jacobs sweater and the Dior jacket. It was like Sophie’s Choice.

–Outside NYU dorm

Rich lady on phone: Uh-huh, uh-huh, but what if we just put the tennis court where the house was? … Okay, okay, what if we demolish the existing tennis court and make that area the guest house again? Or create a glassed-in structure over the court instead?

–Madison Square Garden

Overheard by: mkp-hearts-nyc

Man lunching with friend: I mean, I never lost a million dollars before.

–55th & 6th Ave

Overheard by: ilegal browser

Dad to child in stroller, passing the park: What? You wanted to go in there? I thought you said you wanted to go to Marc Jacobs.

–Hudston St

Overheard by: Colleen

20-ish girl: Fuck my dad. How selfish can you be? If I want to live on West 11th, then fucking buy the flat on West 11th. Ugh. Sorry. Can I get another dirty martini?

–The Village

WASP lady: She’s not even nouveau riche — she is just nouveau!

–A Voce, 26th & Madison

Hunter Has More of a Red Connotation

Crazy lady: Excuse me! Girls, can you adopt a dog or a cat? You know that many animals need homes.
Chick #1: Oh, we’d love to, but we can’t have pets.
Chick #2: Yeah, our dorms don’t allow animals
Crazy lady: Oh, you’re in college?
Chick #1: Yeah.
Crazy lady: At the law school?
Chick #3: No, Hunter.
Crazy lady: I thought that Hunter was for the Blacks. –23rd & Lexington Overheard by: Kaitlyn

The Unbearable Lightness Of Wednesday One-Liners

Rastafarian man to white basketball female player with dreads: Hey! Why you white people always trying to look like me!

–Union Square

Black guy selling Empire State Building tickets: You're from Scotland? I love the Scots… They're puuuuuuurrreee white!

–Outside Empire State Building

Black woman to another, about frat guys nearby: Man, white people are so loud.

–109th & Amsterdam

Overheard by: Becks

Black hobo to white teen: Get out of this neighborhood with your white crotch! You don't belong here!

–Upper West Side

Black woman to cops walking away: But I'm a Caucasian!

–Bed-Stuy

It’s Not Reparations, But I’ll Take What I Can Get

Black guy: Yeah man! You could jump in the tracks right now!
White guy: Are you sure the subway Superman will appear?
Black guy: Trust me, I’m sure.

–W 4th St station

Overheard by: ron cabrera


Headline by: Earl


Runners-Up:
· “…like WMD sure… or Jesus sure?” – k swin
· “Able to convince morons in a single sentence” – Erin
· “Another Supporter of Urban Darwinism” – ToddS
· “He’ll show up in 15 minutes with a spatula and a bucket of bleach” – Rob
· “It’s a Bird! It’s a Plane! Ah Fuck, It’s a Train.” – Justin
· “Kunta Kinte’s Revenge” – micah576
· “Malcom X’s Plan B” – Chris
· “That cold-death feeling just means he’s got you” – Leigh
· “Thinning the herd, Manhattan-style” – Tom Beckett




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