Archive for the ‘White Trash’ Category

Wednesday Hearts One-Liners

White trash woman to angry boyfriend: Stop! I'm in my car and I love myself! I love myself! Fuck you if you don't love yourself! Tyra says to love yourself, and I love myself! –49th & 11th Conductor: Passengers, as you all know the New Haven line is known as the Love Line, because of our red colors and red schedules. For Valentine's Day why not buy a loved one a ticket? Nothing says "I love you" like a Metro North ticket! Imagine the look on your mother-in-law's face when she opens up her present to find a one way trip to Manhattan! –Metro North Train Sorority girl: And this is a list of all the girls who love Jell-o. –St. John's University Overheard by: Peter G Guy on Bluetooth: What did I say? I said I love you and you didn't fucking say anything back. What the fuck am I supposed to do with that? –Jackson Heights Excited black guy to friend: Damn! I think I'm in love, she's like the whole package! She's pretty, she's fuckable, and she can cook! –A Train Overheard by: Tim Little boy leaving the church: Bye, Jesus! I love you! –Riverside Church Overheard by: Stephanie

What Self-Respecting New Yorker Can’t Distinguish Between a Pothead and a Crackhead?

White trash girl, looking out of bus window: Look at Ed*. He looks like a fucking lumberjack. He needs a shave.
White trash guy: That Ed* -he’s a fucking crackhead.
White trash girl: I thought he smoked pot?
White trash guy: Crack, pot -what’s the difference?
Hipster guy sitting behind them: Excuse me, I’m Ed*’s best friend. He’s definitely a pothead. He never does crack. But he does look like a lumberjack. –Q54 Bus

Wednesday One-Liners Come under Fire from the FCC

Girl on cell: I have that freshly fucked feeling. –The Gap, Bensonhurst Lady on cell: Do you remember the guy who used to be in Grand Central all the time? The one with the doll… The doll he would fuck. He and the doll would do a fuck dance. He had it strapped to him at all times. –Outside NYU dorm, E 14th St Overheard by: college graduate White trash gas station attendant: Life got a lot easier once I decided not to give a fuck. –233rd St & Jerome Ave Overheard by: Patrick Di Justo Suit to another: Whatever, it’s New York. I’m expecting to get told ‘F-you’ like 17 times. –LaGuardia airport Overheard by: Raja Ghetto girl licking fingers and lips after consuming hot dog: Mmm, girrrl… I fucked that hot dog up! –Mercer and W. 4th Dude: Ma… Ma, I only used the F-word once, Ma. I’m fucking serious here. –44th & Broadway Overheard by: Tourist from Canadia Little boy shouting to friend across the street: I just learned how to say ‘Fuck’! –Irving & Greene, Bushwick Overheard by: Andy