Guy on phone: It's probably something beyond the bestiality in why you didn't get hired.
–4th & Lafayette
Overheard by: andy
Disembodied voice in crowd: Necrophilia, really?
–Times Square
Man: The thing is: my safety word is "No, harder, harder."
–NY Comic Con
Girl: No, seriously, my parents used to have like a harness and a leash for me, because I used to run away in the airport all the time.
–Fordham Law School
Girl to friend: Hot wax and genitals…either very good, or very, very bad.
–1st Ave & 11th St
Overheard by: Will
Guy: Great. She doesn't even know me and already she thinks I have a produce fetish.
–Whole Foods, Chelsea
Overheard by: Hunter (aka,
Archive for the ‘Whole Foods’ Category
Silly Rabbit, Wednesday One-Liners Are for Kids
Excited little girl to friend: Hey! Wanna see my room? It's really cool! I got a bed!
–Whole Foods, Tribeca
Three-year-old girl, excitedly pointing at picture on store front: Look mommy, it's Buddha! It's Buddha!
–Ave B b/w 3rd & 4th
Overheard by: EVgirl
Young girl to father: Only 1,486 days until I'm 18 and then I can do whatever the heck I want.
–E 78th St & 3rd Ave
Overheard by: Brandon F
4-year-old girl to father trying to board overcrowded train: Jesus, we should have taken the bus! I told you we should have taken the bus.
–Uptown 4 Train
Overheard by: kdice
Five-year-old son to father who just dropped BlackBerry: What the hell just happened here?
–Great Lawn, Central Park
Four-year-old girl: I'mma hustla! I'mma, I'mma hustla!
–Uptown 1 Train
Overheard by: Nina
The Danger Of Marrying a Meat-and-Potatoes Guy
Woman #1: How many potatoes should I get? Like, three?
Woman #2, shrieking: Three? Three?! Are you serious? Have you seen your husband lately?
Woman #1, confused: Four?
Woman #1: He eats more than I eat in a year! He's huge! You'll need at least fifteen potatoes!
Woman #2: Yeah, I guess you're right.
–Whole Foods, Union Square
Overheard by: Sarah
Why Fingerless Gloves Were Invented
Yuppie wife to husband: I bet I know what those stains are on your gloves…
Husband: I highly doubt I was fingering you with these gloves on.
–Whole Foods Escalator, Time Warner Center
Overheard by: A-Robb
There's Nothing Sexier Than the C-Word
Five-year-old boy at young nanny as they wait in line: Mimi? You're the “c” word.
Mimi, looking shocked: The “c” word? What do you mean?
Five-year-old boy: You know… C-e-x-y. Will you marry me?
–Checkout Line, Columbus Circle Whole Foods
Overheard by: tinyfoo
Those Sparkly Stickers Made My Day
FDNY in uniform, waiting for firemen who were grocery shopping: He kept saying, “you're gonna get caught! You're gonna get caught!” but I just took off the tag, put them on my face and just walked out of the store!
Civilian he was talking to (looking shocked and equally disgusted): Oh.
–Whole Foods, Houston & Christie
Just Asking for a Tiny-Package Comeback
Dude: Looks like that chick forgot to put her tits on today. (the three stare and laugh)
–Outside Whole Foods, Union Square
What Happens When Your Brain Snap Crackle Pops
Girl #1: This morning, when I peed, it smelled like Rice Krispie treats…
Girl #2: Ooh, yum! Let's make some!
–Whole Foods, Union Square
It's in a Very Close Relationship With Argentina
Woman #1: Chile? Isn't that in Mexico?
Woman #2: No, it's its own country.
Woman #1: Really? All by itself?
–Whole Foods, 14th St
Overheard by: Linda Keegstra
You Have Weird Education in the U.S.
French girl #1: My friend cannot eat pineapple, because the last time he did, he got this -what do you call it- in his mouth…
American guy: Herpes!
French girl #2: Uh… I don't know if that is the word.
French girl #1: Yea, he ate it and had these little spots…
American guy: Herpes! I have herpes all the time, too.
French girl #2: Maybe it is the same word in English.
(later)
French girl #1: Well he has this small problem near his eye…
American guy: An eye tumor?
French girl #1: Yes, like a little, uh, tumor.
American guy: Man, you guys have weird diseases in France.
–Whole Foods, Union Square
Overheard by: AJ