Archive for the ‘Williamsburg’ Category

Wednesday One-Liners Get a Reltney

Hipster girl: And he's always like, "oh god, I'm so hard!" and I'm always just like, "really?" –Kimmel Cafeteria, NYU Loud passenger: I'm so horny I'd fuck a potato right now. –Metro-North Overheard by: fingerling Guy: I've had a hard-on all day! I need to polish my lid. –Hard Rock Cafe Bearded hipster to another, on blanket in the park: Like, I could have sex eight times in a day and still come here and get a boner. –McCarren Park, Williamsburg Overheard by: kalbijim Girl to guy friend: Did you just get a boner while we're talking about Mexicans and drowning? –Williamsburg

Wednesday Flatliners

Dude on cell: Alright, listen up. If the guy gets up and walks away, he's not dead. If you come back and he's still lying there, he's dead, you follow? So, in that situation you are just going to go through the motions like we discussed. –23th & 7th Overheard by: mel Random man on bicycle to doorman: You never know when you're going to eat a bad mushroom and die. –87th St & York Ave Overheard by: Critter Jersey woman, looking at a case with brains that suffered from major stroke: Oh my gawd… They probably died from that! –Bodies The Exhibition, South St Seaport Guy shopping in art supply on a cell: So you're banking on dying young, then? –Art Store, Williamsburg Spacey old guy to friends, calmly: I want to murder that guy. (even more calmly) I've got bloodlust in my heart. –9th St b/w 1st & 2nd Overheard by: JKW Woman on cell: You want to be cremated, right? (pause) Well, then what the hell are we going to do with you? –Park Ave

Wednesday Pick-Up-Liners

Guy, bumping into girlfriend as bus lurches: Sorry baby, that’s gravity. I can’t help it, I’m physically attracted to you. –M116 Bus Overheard by: I hate the bus Construction worker hitting on young girl: Hey baby, you are too cute to be so pretty! –Allen & East Houston Black bag seller to passerby: Hey sweetheart, you wanna buy a bag today? I’ll tell you what, you buy a bag and I’ll give you my number for free. –33rd & Broadway Man to teenage girls: Do you and your friends like to wrestle? I swear to god I could take you all. –Times Square Overheard by: yearbookie Homie to friends: They say in the old days you couldn’t even holler at a woman cause she wouldn’t answer you. –South Williamsburg Overheard by: DanielXY Homeless man to cute passerby: Nice knees. –Central Park