Yuppie in Yabby, in Williamsburg: “I didn’t mean to turn my sister into a lesbian! It just happened!”
Old woman: I don’t care what the fuck he says, I was a pirate in my last life, and I was on eight pirate ships! –Williamsburg Hobo: She was a…Mormon, no, not a Mormon. A Mormon! No, not a Mormon. What’s that religion that’s against violence? Not a Mormon, not a Mormon…a Quaker! That’s right, you know, a Mormon. It’s a circle of friends so I could just go in there and say, “Hey, I’m a Jew. I am against violence.” And they would wanna be my friends, the Mormons. –Union Square Sailor: I can’t believe that stripper stole your book. –44th & 8th Overheard by: Doug Singer Girl: I would have been complimented if he’d been fine…but I believe he was homeless. –21st & 7th Overheard by: The Radford
Teacher: Which race of people were counted as 3/5 of a person during the 1850s in the South?
–Williamsburg High School
Hipster girl staring at bike locked to sign: Why would anyone steal just the front wheel of a bike?
Hipster guy: To buy heroin.
–Grand & Driggs
Overheard by: Adam
Hipster guy: Did we sleep in ’till 1 pm today? Or was that yesterday?
Hipster girl: No, that was yesterday. We slept in ’till ten today.
Hipster guy: What’s wrong with us? Do we have aids?
Mother to eight-year-old daughter, gesturing to hipsters: You know why they wear those tight pants?
Eight-year-old daughter : No, why?
Mother: They got no dick. No boner in those pants.
–Lorimer & Metropolitan, Williamsburg
Cyclist #1: So how was your girl’s birthday?
Cyclist #2: All right, I guess. I kinda fucked up.
Cyclist #1: Fucked up? How?
Cyclist #2: Well, she’s vegan.
Cyclist #1: Yeah, so?
Cyclist #2: Well, I bought her a leather seat for her bike.
Cyclist #1: So what, man? She’s vegan — just because she doesn’t like cow in her mouth doesn’t mean she won’t like it in her ass.
Overheard by: Prolly
Guy: Awww, man, did you hear? Billy's in the hospital!
Girl: Oh no! What happened?
Guy: He only ate bananas and pop for like two weeks straight.
Girl: Shit, that sucks. Poor Billy!
Girl #1: Anarchists are so dumb.
Girl #2: Yeah, totally.
Girl #1: I mean, just ’cause you hate the government doesn’t mean you have to dress badly.
Overheard by: Liser
Hipster girl: I hate it when obviously uncool people wear flannel.
Overheard by: dru
Hipster girl: Shark Week is a week? It lasted like a month last year.
–N 6th St, Williamsburg
Frumpy hipster: No! Hipsters melt in the rain!
–McCarren Park Pool, Greenpoint
Hipster on cell: No, I've never heard of a nocturnal squirrel… Do you even… Wait, are you trying to tell me you're gay?! No? Well, this is awkward…
Hipster guy to another: Have you ever played with yourself under a blacklight? There's like all kinds of shit on your dick!
Overheard by: Cass
Frumpy mom, holding up item for hipster tween daughter: Catherine, is this ironic?
–Beacon's Closet, Williamsburg