One woman in her late 20′s talking to another, in a Williamsburg cafe: “Her upper body‘s okay.”
A hipster girl, walking down Bedford Ave in Williamsburg, talking on her cell phone: “I didn’t realize what a good boyfriend Matt was…. yeah… he’s too nice, too together, too in touch with his emotions… his only problem is that he doesn’t smoke pot.”
Hipster: I went to a Polish beauty pageant last night in Brooklyn. It totally blew my brains apart. –Williamsburg
Girl #1: Have you ever got hit by an errant cup of coffee?
Girl #2: Once, but I’m not sure how errant I’d consider it. –Fix Coffee, Williamsburg Overheard by: Greg Rutter
Hipster on cell: You asked me how I’m doing, and I tell you–and then you bring it back to yourself. You always do that.
Chick #1: That Dew’s totally going to land on someone’s shoe.
Chick #2: I know. I already stepped on like six feet. –Mountain Dew promotional party (don’t ask), Greenpoint
Chick: Yeah, deers aren’t that bad. You’re in trouble if you hit a cow, though. And even worse would be a moose, because if you don’t kill it it’s gonna kill you! –Williamsburg Overheard by: Danger!!!!
Asian yuppie: Now I don’t have to be possessive anymore. Instead, I rely on Jesus. –Grand Cafe, Williamsburg
Female Police Officer: So he calls me at 1:59 and tells me, ‘I’m out with the guys and I won’t be able to be home by 2.’ So I say to him, ‘Just don’t come home at 6 am!’ and he says okay and then he comes home at 5:59!
Male Police Officer: Why do you put up with this?
Female Police Officer: Because once you go Puerto Rican, you never go a-seekin’! –Precinct 90, Williamsburg
Mother to eight-year-old daughter, gesturing to hipsters: You know why they wear those tight pants?
Eight-year-old daughter : No, why?
Mother: They got no dick. No boner in those pants.
–Lorimer & Metropolitan, Williamsburg