One woman in her late 20′s talking to another, in a Williamsburg cafe: “Her upper body‘s okay.”
Archive for the ‘Williamsburg’ Category
Nice guys can relate
A hipster girl, walking down Bedford Ave in Williamsburg, talking on her cell phone: “I didn’t realize what a good boyfriend Matt was…. yeah… he’s too nice, too together, too in touch with his emotions… his only problem is that he doesn’t smoke pot.”
Other Side Effects Include Dizziness, Upset Stomach…
Hipster: I went to a Polish beauty pageant last night in Brooklyn. It totally blew my brains apart. –Williamsburg
The Cream Followed Soon After
Girl #1: Have you ever got hit by an errant cup of coffee?
Girl #2: Once, but I’m not sure how errant I’d consider it.
–Fix Coffee, Williamsburg
Overheard by: Greg Rutter
You bring it back to yourself
Hipster on cell: You asked me how I’m doing, and I tell you–and then you bring it back to yourself. You always do that.
–Verb, Williamsburg
Mountain Dew: The Drink of Evil
Chick #1: That Dew’s totally going to land on someone’s shoe.
Chick #2: I know. I already stepped on like six feet.
–Mountain Dew promotional party (don’t ask), Greenpoint
Bullwinkle Ate My Family
Chick: Yeah, deers aren’t that bad. You’re in trouble if you hit a cow, though. And even worse would be a moose, because if you don’t kill it it’s gonna kill you! –Williamsburg Overheard by: Danger!!!!
What would Jesus do?
Asian yuppie: Now I don’t have to be possessive anymore. Instead, I rely on Jesus. –Grand Cafe, Williamsburg
Puerto Rican Pride
Female Police Officer: So he calls me at 1:59 and tells me, ‘I’m out with the guys and I won’t be able to be home by 2.’ So I say to him, ‘Just don’t come home at 6 am!’ and he says okay and then he comes home at 5:59!
Male Police Officer: Why do you put up with this?
Female Police Officer: Because once you go Puerto Rican, you never go a-seekin’!
–Precinct 90, Williamsburg
Whereas Clowns Are Hung Like Bears
Mother to eight-year-old daughter, gesturing to hipsters: You know why they wear those tight pants?
Eight-year-old daughter : No, why?
Mother: They got no dick. No boner in those pants.
–Lorimer & Metropolitan, Williamsburg