Hipster Girl: Hipsterism was made for Jewish guys and Asian Girls. – Williamsburg
Yuppie: If I could be anywhere in the world now, I would be in the West Bank. – Cafe, Williamsburg
Young man #1: Do you want to play ping pong?
Young man #2: No.
Young man #1: Do you play ping pong?
Young man #2: No.
Young man #1: REALLY?????? You don’t play ping pong????? –N. 11th St, Williamsburg
Hipster: I went to a Polish beauty pageant last night in Brooklyn. It totally blew my brains apart. –Williamsburg
Girl #1: Have you ever got hit by an errant cup of coffee?
Girl #2: Once, but I’m not sure how errant I’d consider it. –Fix Coffee, Williamsburg Overheard by: Greg Rutter
Yuppie: He said, “I’m a beautiful man, I deserve to be with a beautiful woman.” Because he’s so in love with himself he’s so lazy in bed. –Williamsburg
Black guy: Tell that nigger my party is tonight in Nochez.
Hispanic guy on cell: Yo, this nigger’s party is tonight in Nochez.
Black woman: Why is the word ‘nigger’ being said so much here? –KFC, Delancey Street
Chick #1: That Dew’s totally going to land on someone’s shoe.
Chick #2: I know. I already stepped on like six feet. –Mountain Dew promotional party (don’t ask), Greenpoint
Puerto Rican Teenager #1 in Williamsburg: “Hey, calling someone else gay means that you’re gay!” Puerto Rican Teenager #2: “Are you calling me gay? ARE YOU CALLING ME GAY? I’m not gay! Bring any woman out here right now, and I will fuck her in front of you all, in front of the world. Anyone. Do it, right now! I will show the whole world that I am not gay! Do you hear me? Do you hear me? I AM NOT GAY!”
Mother to eight-year-old daughter, gesturing to hipsters: You know why they wear those tight pants?
Eight-year-old daughter : No, why?
Mother: They got no dick. No boner in those pants.
–Lorimer & Metropolitan, Williamsburg