Girl: Dave, you got hit by a car, so I cannot trust you crossing the street.
Dave: I ran into the street.
–Graham & Jackson, Williamsburg
Archive for the ‘Williamsburg’ Category
And Let's Not Forget Suck-the-venom-out-of-the-snake-wound Kisses!
Black dude: When I was a kid, I use to fake choke, so my mom would give me the Heimlich maneuver, whenever I wanted a hug. (pause) You know, one of those “just because” hugs.
–Williamsburg
Overheard by: Mike D
Wednesday One-Liners, in a Nutshell.
Man in car at stoplight on cell: Yeah, so I grabbed a towel for my nuts and ran down the stairs. Yes, I covered my nuts. So I run down the stairs covering my nuts with a towel because I knew where the smoke was coming from!
–127th & Lenox
Street tough to guy in wheelchair: So you kicked him in the nuts? (shrugs) Yeah, word.
–E 2nd St & Ave C
Overheard by: Ben Couch
Crazy man: Where's Howie? Where's my favorite nut-nut?
–Hanson Place
Overheard by: JBeck
Dude on cell while riding bicycle: It's hanging off your nuts?
–Williamsburg
Mom 20-something daughter heading to Penn Station: Should we grab our nuts, at least?
–7th Ave & 34th St
Overheard by: Just don't grab my nuts
Smug, Superior Wednesday One-Liners
NYU girl: I love authentic ethnic food, but not authentic ethnic service. Could you please Americanize your demeanor when you hand me a plate? I like service with a smile.
–Washington Square Park
Emo girl to friend, laughing hysterically, with a huge smile on his face: Stop! You've used up two of my three allotted daily smiles.
–R Train
College boy: We should put them on our penises. So it looks like a smiley face every time we pee.
–Williamsburg
Math teacher, seeing smiley face on board: Is that a penis?
–Hunter College High School
Hey, There's Nothing Gay About a Plate Job
Big guy #1: Naw, man I'm straight as a plate!
Big guy #2: A bumpy plate!
–Williamsburg
Overheard by: Taylor
But Can We Pretend It's Ice Cream?
Girl to friend: Then to make up for our fat asses we'll walk all the way back with our frozen yogurt.
Friend: Good idea, we are fat asses.
–Williamsburg
Overheard by: Rick
Poetry Runs Right Through Madeline
Mother: Fee fie fo fum!
Very young daughter: I have me a smelly bum!
Mother: Oh dear.
–McCarren Park
Overheard by: Todd Dillard
Should We Be Discussing This in Public?
Teen chick #1: Yeah, but now they all like “woah!” and shit.
Teen chick #2: They all like “woah!”?
Teen chick #1: Yeah.
–Williamsburg, Brooklyn
Overheard by: dirtystan
If You're Tired Of New York, You're Tired Of Life
Blonde girl: What did she say to you?
Brunette girl, looking at cellphone: Um… She said she's sitting next to this guy who's breathing so hard it sounds like he's getting a blowjob from a woman with a stuffy nose.
–Williamsburg
The Final Solution to Wednesday One-Liners
College girl to friend: So I was looking through all my pictures… You know, all my pictures of Nazis.
–Central Park
Overheard by: ruegah
NYU film student to another, looking at picture of French actor Benoit Magimel: He's hot in that Hitler Youth kind of way.
–NYU Tisch Building
Guy to friend: Killing zombies is the new killing Nazis.
–1 Train
Overheard by: Preston
Random hipster: Sometimes I think Hitler was right.
–Music Hall of Williamsburg
Borders employee: I'm sorry, ma'am, we do have books about Hitler, but they're all for children.
–Borders