Woman: He’s so horny he’d fuck a venetian blind. –Starbucks, UES
Rich Girl: Wow Mallory, you have such a busy week coming up. It’s a good thing you don’t have a job.
Mallory: Yeah. –1 Train Overheard by: Danger
Pretentious snob lady: New York is soooo Vegas these days. –Times Square
Woman #1: I think it’s a lion. See? That’s its eye, there’s its tail.
Woman #2: I think it’s a frog.
Woman #1: Really? I don’t see that.
Woman #2: I mean a very surrealistic frog. –MOMA Overheard by: Peter Anthony Ryan
Man: I directed a show at a musical theatre awards dinner last night. All the great, older musical writers were there: Kander, Ebbs, everyone. You should see their wives. They’re gorgeous.
Woman: They have wives? I thought they were gay.
Man: Oh, no. They’re Jewish. –LES
A man hands a woman a brochure for erectile dysfunction. Man: I’m not only the president, I’m also a client. –MetroNorth Train Overheard by: Mark
Middle-aged woman: I want Gloria Steinem’s eyeballs in my fucking martini! –East Village
Woman #1: I’ve been with him for five years.
Woman #2: Wow. That’s the longest you’ve been with anyone, isn’t it?
Woman #1: Yes…unless you count my two marriages. –Midtown elevator Overheard by: Tommy Raiko
Woman #1: I heard this train fell into the river one time. Is that true?
Woman #2: I dunno. I don’t see how it could. Maybe it could fall off to the side or something, but straight down? How would it get off the tracks?
Woman #1: I heard it fell into the river like nine years ago. Somebody told me that when I was in Miami. –J train, en route via Williamsburg Bridge
Superbubbly Woman: I’ll see you tomorrow! Which is Friday! And we’ll kick it up another notch!
Cashier: OK! –Bodega, 9th Ave & 36th Street