Woman in McDonald’s: “…and they were conversating about…”
Archive for the ‘Women’ Category
You Can’t Always Get What You Want
Woman in her 50s: “She used to drink on weekends, Friday, Saturday and Sunday. And then she got scared she was going to start drinking Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday. So she went to AA and hasn’t touched a drop since, she’s a sponsor too. That was 15 years ago. Now she’s 33 and she went back to school. She just became a paralegal and makes $950 a month. She didn’t want to be one of those low people.” –W Train
Let’s All Laugh at the Elderly
Old Woman #1: …I like that too. You know what’s good? I like to eat that pissghetti.
Old Woman #2: Yeah, that stuff is good.
Old Woman #1: But they should give it a better name.
–Bronx Supreme Court building
Overheard by: The Evil Sneeze
Oddly, She’s the World’s Biggest Menorah
Nun #1: The lady who is the Statue of Liberty is Catholic.
Nun #2: Someone told me she was Muslim, but I think they were just trying to keep it safe from airplane attacks.
–South Street Seaport
Overheard by: Joseph Lo Cascio
Trains and Trannies
Chick #1: What an asshole. Do I look like a transvestite?
Chick #2: No.
Chick #1: Sometimes when a woman is tall and she’s dressed like a woman, she really is a woman.
Chick #2: Unless you’re in Chelsea.
–1 Train
It’s a Very Overheard Christmas
Six drunks are standing around on the corner.
Woman: Now in German!
Drunks: Stille nacht, heilige nacht…
–St. Mark’s & 1st Ave
Overheard by: Jamie Wisneski & Megan
It’s All Greek to Me
Businessguy: It’s a small world.
Businesschick: Especially in Astoria!
Businessguy: Ha, ha, ha!
Businesschick: Hee, hee.
–Midtown office
Wednesday One-Liners
Businesswoman: Tex-Mex is not Mexican food. It’s American. That’s why it’s called Tex-Mex. –Midtown Office Chick: …and the moral of the story is, don’t take off your pants in a stockroom because you’ll get dumped. –UWS Overheard by: e. glass
Just One Block From Park Ave…
A bike messenger almost plows through the crowd at a crosswalk.
Messenger: You gotta look! You gotta look!
Black Woman: Nigger, you look! You ain’t drivin’ no car!
–44th & Madison
I’m Thankful for My Alcoholism
Businesschick: Are you still with that girl?
Businessguy: No. She kept trying to get me to go to AA. One night out with me and you’ll see..!
Businesschick: Oh, I’ve seen the aftermath. The stitches, the blood.
–Midtown Office