Old Woman: You’re not making fun of my hat, are you? Better not be. Lots of flowers on this hat, it’s a fine hat. I love this hat. Your problem is, you got no love in you. Not for hats, not for nothing. –McDonalds, St. Mark’s Place
Archive for the ‘Women’ Category
The Almost Naked Cowboy
A guido is wearing a black jumpsuit and hat when a middle aged woman approaches him.
Woman: Hey…cowboy hat, eh?
Guido: (tips hat) You got that right.
Woman: And is that…velour too, huh?
Guido: You bet. Only the finest.
Woman: Don’t even tell me. You wearing a g-string under that?
Guido: Actually, how did you know?
–MSG
Overheard by: Jay G
The Ramblings of the Elderly
An old woman is drumming up contributions for the SPCA.
Young Man: Good luck!
Old Woman: We don’t need luck, we need cooperation. Does Bush say good luck to the soldiers? No, he just sends in more troops! Come on! Don’t be a phony.
–Kinko’s, 20th St. and 6th Ave.
Overheard by: Lucian Piane
Wednesday One-liners
Woman: I really hope that you start doing some shit that’s smart. –Broadway & Waverly Businessman: The CEO’s a good ol’ Italian goombah from Bayonne. –Midtown Office
Hold the Mayo
Woman: Having sex with him was the same as eating a slice of plain Wonder bread while looking in the window of a Crate and Barrel. –York & 70th
The Chorus to a Terrible Song
Woman #1: Are you going to be here for Christmas?
Woman #2: Yah.
Woman #1: For Thanksgiving?
Woman #2: Yah.
Woman #1: For–
Woman #2: Yah.
Woman #1: For–
Woman #2: Yah.
–Duane Reade, Greenwich Village
Be Paranoid; OverheardInNewYork is Listening…
Woman: So it’s top secret. I think I’m going to quit in January. –500 Madison Avenue
Where Can I Possibly Find a Coffee?
Woman: Can I have a coffee?
Ice Cream Lady: You want coffee ice cream?
Woman: No, coffee.
Ice Cream Lady: Oh, we don’t sell coffee.
–Coldstone Ice Cream, Astor Place
Overheard by: Alayna
Story of My Life
Woman: He’s such a great guy. If he were taller, I’d marry him. I admire him so much, and he’s gorgeous. –Astoria Overheard by: Todd Seavey
A Homeless Miss Manners
Vagrant: Can you help a homeless man get something to eat? Huh? Ma’am? Did you say no? I can’t hear you!
Chinese Lady: No.
Vagrant: She said no! People, let me hear you!
–6 Train