Customer: Is that banner going to be permanent?
Cashier: For a little while.
–Forbidden Planet
Archive for the ‘Words’ Category
Yuppie Fantasies
Young Woman #1: I have to go to this “dungeon” for my Sexual Psychology class. Do you want to come?
Young Woman #2 in her mid-twenties: Is it like an S&M thing?
Young Woman #1: I don’t know. It’s like they act out different sexual
fantasies with whips and stuff.
Young Woman #2: OK, that sounds cool.
– Upper East Side
Paging Def Leppard
Male Employee: No, that’s hemophilia. Hypoglycemia is, like, when your
body produces more sugar than your system can handle.
Female Employee: Yeah! That’s me!
–Lord & Taylor
Overheard by: Megan Buckley
Science without Science
Yuppie: I was just teaching the scientific method to my students.
Nerd: Oh, so you teach them induction and deduction?
Yuppie: [long pause] The students aren’t that smart so I don’t teach them big words like those.
– Party, Manhattan
Some Shot!
Young Woman: Are you part Italian?
Older Woman: I’m Italian by injection!
–Private party, NYC
What About Science?
Waitress: Is that book you’re reading fiction or theory? –Cosi
You Kooky Capitalists
Customer: Can I pay by debit?
Checkout Hippie: Yes. [laughter]
Customer: Why are you laughing?
Checkout Hippie: Because I thought what you said was funny.
Customer: OK…
–Organic Market, East Village
The Worst Pick-up Line Ever
Wannabe Player: It is a pleasure to have the honor of being in your company. –Halloween Party, Greenwich Village
A unique vocabulary
Hispter eating in Bonita in Williamsburg: “…and they have their own vocabulary, using phrases like, ‘hanging out.’”
You know you’re Not in New York when… (Part Eleven)
In a coffeeshop in Los Angeles (the Novel cafe in Santa Monica), a tutor is giving a beginning Spanish lesson to a student at the table next to me. The student is reading a newspaper article in Spanish, and then translating each sentence word by word:
Student: “I don’t know what this word, ‘decada’ means”
Teacher: “What do you think it means?”
Student: “I don’t know”
Teacher: “Guess.”
Student: “I really don’t know”
Teacher: “Here’s a hint. It’s very similar to an English word”
Student: “‘Decada’? Deca….. I have no idea”
Teacher: “It’s almost identical to the English word”
Student: “uhhhhh”
Teacher: “There’s only one letter difference”
Student: “deca….?”
Teacher: “C’mon, what do you think?”
Student: “I really have no idea”
(Teacher pinches her on the nose!)
Teacher: “It’s Decade!!!”
Student: “Ahhhhh!!!! Okay! I feel stupid!”