Archive for the ‘Words’ Category

Wednesday One-liners Use Safety Scissors

Girl: If she were dead, she would have called, right? –83rd & York Overheard by: Will Suit: Well see, I’ve always either been single or in a relationship. –Duane & Broadway Overheard by: McGins Guy on cell: Yeah, what he said made us sound stupid. But it made me sound even stupider! –Broadway & Bleecker Overheard by: jillypickle Girl on cell: Hello? No, you have the wrong number…Hello? No, I told you you had the wrong number. What are you, illiterate? –M train Overheard by: Jane Guy: Yo, I never knew Dean Koontz wrote books in Spanish. He’s mad smart! And Bill Clinton, too! –Barnes & Noble libros en espanol section, Union Square McChick: Would you like that “with cheese”, or without “with cheese”? –McDonald’s, 44th and Lex Man: Oh shit, it’s raining outside too? –Office, 40th & 3rd Overheard by: Colin F.

Pugilism While Gurgling?

Conductor: Attention passengers, there will be no purgalism on this train tonight.
Drunken passengers: Did he just say “purgalism”? What the fuck is “purgalism”? Is that even a word?
(five minutes later)
Conductor
: There will also be no puking on this train. No puking and no purgalism. I will not be taking any questions tonight.


–LIRR

Now What About the Statute of Librarians?

Guy with thick accent: Where you get off to the Walton Center?
NY chick: The what?
Guy with thick accent: The Walton Center.
NY chick: Do you know what street it's on?
Guy with thick accent: No, no. You know, the Walton Center.
NY chick: I'm sorry, I don't know where that is.
Guy with thick accent: The Walton Center! The buildings, they fall, they fall!
NY chick: You mean the World Trade Center?
Guy with thick accent: Yes!
NY chick: Fulton Street and fuck you.

–Uptown 5 Train

Wednesday One-Liners Melt in Your Mouth

Young woman to another: I've done some soul searching. I'm now willing to believe it's not butter.

–Park Ave & E. 79th

Overheard by: andy

Annoying lady to worker who apparently mishandled her food: Apologize to the sandwich!

–Subway, Brighton Beach

Overheard by: Robert

Chick on cell: I try to eat as many acidic things as possible since I have a very creamy nature.

–35th & 7th

Girl on cell: Girrrrllll…he was meltin' me like butter last night.

–Bedford Ave & N 5th

Overheard by: Marleni

College guy: All molds are not created equal! Think about yogurt, man, it's all frickin mold!

–Columbia College Walk

Would-be CIA student on cell: Yeah, so I think my interview at the CIA went well. I think I'll really like it there. (notices people around him) …the Culinary institute of America! (everyone smiles)

–80th & Broadway

Overheard by: Roth Hall