Archive for the ‘Words’ Category

Wednesday One-liners Teach Your Children Well

Pregnant woman to 3-year-old son: Do you remember what happened last time you licked the subway? That’s right. You threw up. –4 train Overheard by: Leora Parent: My son is only two years old, sittin’ at the bar, talkin’ ’bout “old school.” How you gon’ talk ’bout “old school” when you two years old? I think my brother taught him that. –Merrill Lynch lobby, Broadway & Park Row Mom to 4-year-old: Stop crying and take a moment and think about how you feel. –Broadway & 104th

Wednesday One-Liners Adjust Their Tiaras

JAP, reflecting: I think I might be a drug dealer.

–Spot’s Café

JAP: Yeah! I went to Israel this summer! And they all looked at me like I was an idiot! They don’t have Uggs there… They don’t have burgers… They don’t have loosies!

–Hunter College

Jappy teen: I’ve never done anything for society and I’ve done just fine.

–University & 12th

JAP: Bitch, "Jewish" is a religion!

–17th & 6th

NYU JAP: I told my dad that I couldn’t go to the scholarship fair because I had to get my nails done, and I think we’re still in a fight!

–Goddard Hall, NYU Dorm

Overheard by: Maya G.

Jappy girl to friend: [Sighs.] I’m losing faith in humanity, one orgasm at a time.

–1 Train

Overheard by: Ponine

It’s a Technical Term

NYU chick #1: … And, y’know, some kind of adenine, guanine, trampoline chemical thingie.
NYU chick #2: Er. You mean ‘thymine’?
NYU chick #1: That’s what I said.

–Waverly & University