Man: Do you have bathing suits?
Salesgirl: No… But we have swimming trunks.
Man, sarcastically: Why not? I'll try those.
–6th & 23rd
Archive for the ‘Words’ Category
Much Like Our Friendship.
Guy #1: I would never get a tattoo that big.
Guy #2: But it's of a quote that means a lot to me.
Guy #1: Maybe so, but it's permanent.
Guy #2: Well, not anymore…
Guy #1: Okay, true. But it's permanent for the time being.
–Chase Manhattan Plaza
Overheard by: This kind of makes sense
Now Explain Tobago, Smartypants.
Little boy in a bodega to mom: Why do you have to be eighteen to buy tobacco? It's just a sauce!
Mom: No, sweetie, that's tabasco.
Little boy: Ohhhhhhhh.
Mom: Makes sense, ya?
–9th St & Ave A
Overheard by: hottamali
McWednesday One-Liners
MTA conductor: This train is going to run express. The next and last stop is McDonald's… I mean Astoria-Ditmars Boulevard.
–W Train
British teenager: They didn't even spell it right, it's "Mac Donald's," not "mc"!
–McDonald's, Bowery & Bayard
Student to class: I ate a McGriddle last week, and it was like eating a baby angel.
–Classroom, NYU
Frantic foreign lady: Is this the train that goes to McDonald's?
–F Subway
Overheard by: laura
Blame Jersey Shore, Not Me!
Guy with squash equipment #1: Let's squash.
Guy with squash equipment #2: We squashed her all night and we squished her all day.
Guy with squash equipment #1: That's disgusting.
–Gym, Columbia University
Overheard by: Nava
I'm Not Going to Detroit to Find Out
Girl: I mean, which came first, “Ford,” or “affordable”?
Guy: Uh, “affordable,” I think.
Girl: Are you sure?
–L Train
Dr. Seuss Got This Crap a Lot.
Elderly woman: Come on now, we're disemboating…
Sassy son: “Disemboating”? How about “disembarking”? What are they teaching you at the home, English for Americans?
–Ferry to Governors Island
Overheard by: Loves to Disemboat and her colleague, Chronic Disemboater
Either Way, We're Talking About Small Leather Goods, Right?
Elderly lady #1, window shopping: What did you do with all your Gucci stuff?
Elderly lady #2: Coochie stuff? Why would I have coochie stuff?
Elderly lady #1: No, Gloria, I said “Gucci!”
–60th St b/w Madison & Park Ave
Overheard by: Emily
Do You Have Wednesday One-Liner Envy?
Petite Asian woman on cell: And that's when I'll cut off his penis!
–East Village
Overheard by: Katie
Guy in the middle of group photo: Okay, now everybody take your cocks out.
–The Luxor Hotel, Columbus & 81st St
Loud matronly woman on cell, exasperated: Whose penis was on your thing?
–3rd & 16th
Overheard by: Joe & Eliz
Young lesbian on cell: She kept yelling "penis!" the whole time we were doing it… Should I call her?
–Long Island City
Overheard by: Sunny
…So It's Not a Candy?
Hipster girl, loudly to friend: What does s&m stand for, anyway?
Friend: What?
Hipster girl: What does s&m mean?
Random girl, taking out earbuds: Sadism and masochism.
Hipster girl: Oh. (pause) Thanks. (long, embarrassed silence ensues)
–L Train