Archive for the ‘Yankee Stadium’ Category

The Yankees Really Need to Hire Some Vicious British Soccer Hooligans

Yankee fan, seeing girl in Red Sox hat: Booo! Boooo!
Red Sox girl's friend: Leave her alone! She's hot! Leave her alone!
Yankee fan: Booo! Red Sox suck!
Red Sox girl's friend: She's got big boobs, leave her alone!
Yankee fan: I've seen boobs before! Booo!
(later)
Yankee fan: Red Sox suck! Booo!
Red Sox girl's friend: Leave her alone, she's hot!
Yankee fan: That's your opinion! Booo! –Yankee Stadium

Anyone Else Wish He'd Just Smoke the Crack Already?

Baseball fan #1: Oh, I'm going to get laid tonight.
Baseball fan #2: Are you going to call Alice?
Baseball fan #1: Oh no, you don't understand my life, man! I've got this girl who just sits on a milk crate and sucks my cock!
Baseball fan #2: Dude!
Baseball fan #2: Where does she do this? On a crate? What?
Baseball fan #1: You don't understand my life, man! She just does it wherever! I'm literally ready to smoke crack at any minute!
Baseball fan #2: Man, we don't want to know.
Baseball fan #1: I'm ready to smoke crack at any minute! You just can't control these things. –Yankee Stadium Overheard by: simon

Just for That, No Hamdogs for You

Yankee fan #1: What do you like better — hot dogs or hamburgers?
Yankee fan #2: I like ’em both, man.
Yankee fan #1: You can’t like ’em both! Hot dogs and hamburgers are mortal enemies, asshole. Everyone knows that! –Yankee Stadium

Wednesday One-Liners Find Their Niche

Ten-year-old wannabe thug: I'ma put this can of pepper spray up your ass! You want me to put this up your ass?! –Old Navy, Harlem Worried bearded 50-something: Yeah, but how are we going to film an anal birth!? –F Train Street vendor selling his wares: I will shove your foot up the devil's ass! –St Mark's Place Yankee stadium employee yelling to another: Hey, wouldja bend over for a minute? I'll be right back! –Yankee Stadium Overheard by: torrie Gay teen: His hole was as big as a traffic cone! –1st & 14th Sinfully ugly girl: I have to stop putting things in my ass. –forever 21 (queens center mall) Overheard by: defragment my harddrive