Statler: My kid just told me he’s making the ultimate sacrifice.
Waldorf: Really?
Statler: He told me that it’d be okay for the Red Sox to beat the Yankees, as long as George Bush loses the election.
Waldorf: My god.
–14th Street YMCA
Archive for the ‘Yankees’ Category
If Only at Life
Guido #1, in drunken sing-songy voice: Yan-kees suuuuck! Yan-kees suuuuck!
Guido #2: They win a lot!
–Train, Penn Station
Overheard by: jalabi99
Are All Men Just a Hair Away from Flaming? Discuss.
60-something overweight bald man #1 during game, watching Kristin Chenoweth on giant screen: Extensions.
60-something overweight bald man #2: Totally.
–Yankee Stadium
You Know Rolls Have Too Many Carbs for Me, Winston.
Woman, seconds after stadium chanted each Yankee name: Who's that playing third base?
Man: What? Were you not paying attention during roll call?
–Yankee Stadium
It's Gonna Be Another Long Season
Co-ed: Excuse me, would you mind moving over so my friend and I can sit together?
Guy in Yankees cap: I ain't moving. You can find somewhere else to sit.
Bystander: Whoa, dude, the girl just wants to sit with her friend. Why are you being rude to her?
Guy in Yankees cap: It's my seat. I don't want to move. It's my right.
Bystander: I thought you were a Yankees fan.
Guy in Yankees cap: End of discussion.
Bystander: I thought you were a Yankees fan. You're a Yankees fan and you treat ladies like that?
Guy in Yankees cap: I ain't moving. End of discussion.
–1 Train
Overheard by: Rose Fox
Wednesday One-Liners Got Game
Old queer on cell: Okay, well I'll be watching the Mets game, or the Jets game, whatever you call it… What do they call it when you men all sit together and can't talk?
–Broadway & 103rd St
Iranian tourist to street performer: We don't have a vote but we have a basketball team!
–Washington Square
Overheard by: RAR!
Subway conductor: This is the uptown "d" express train, making all express stops in Manhattan and The Bronx, including 161st Street, so the Yankees can host the Minnesota Twins. We'd like to welcome all Detroit Tigers fans riding with us–shame you couldn't bring your team.
–Uptown D Train
Female sports fan: A-Rod's back baby! Kate Hudson has a magic pussy!
–Pub, 45th & 3rd
Overheard by: Pub crawler
Teenage girl to group of attentive friends: If leprechauns could play basketball, they would.
–High School, Queens
Overheard by: Sunny
“Go Yankees!” Is New Yorkese for “Have a Nice Day”
Newspaper guy, in monotone voice: Get your free amNewYork. (now excitedly) Go Yankees!
Passerby in Yankees hat: Yeah!
Newspaper guy, in monotone voice: Get your free amNewYork.
–34th St
Overheard by: erkala
That You're a Douchebag?
Store clerk to ice cream delivery guy: So you a Yankee fan? You excited?
Delivery man: Nah, I'm actually a Phillies fan. These last two weeks it's like I'm the only white guy in a KFC, know what I'm sayin'?
–Astoria
Overheard by: Arun
TV Is TV, Curtis
Young woman: I want to see it when they give the Yankees the keys to the city.
Thug boyfriend: Okay.
Young woman: What do the keys open?
Thug boyfriend: It's just, like, a statue and shit.
Young woman: Oh, I thought they all got a turn trying to open the vault at the bank, and one of the keys works.
Thug boyfriend: You dumb bitch. That's The Price Is Right, not The World Series!
–E Train
You Know That Was the Anniversary Of Our Third Open-Mouthed Kiss.
Guy, as scoreboard shows highlight of Derek Jeter diving into the crowd: Do you remember what day that was?
Girl: What day was that?
Guy: Why are you being a bitch?
–Yankee Stadium
Overheard by: Anthony