Archive for the ‘Yankees’ Category

Ever Since It Didn’t Happen Yet, Things Just Haven’t Been the Same

College kid: They should put up a question on the big screen that says, ‘Who fucked up the playoffs two years in a row for us: A) Number 13, B) ARod, C) Alex Rodriguez, or D) All of the above?
Friend: … Or maybe Kevin Brown.
Man in front of them: The future ain’t what it used to be…

–Yankee Stadium

Looks Like It’s Kerry!

Statler: My kid just told me he’s making the ultimate sacrifice.
Waldorf: Really?
Statler: He told me that it’d be okay for the Red Sox to beat the Yankees, as long as George Bush loses the election.
Waldorf: My god. –14th Street YMCA

It's Gonna Be Another Long Season

Co-ed: Excuse me, would you mind moving over so my friend and I can sit together?
Guy in Yankees cap: I ain't moving. You can find somewhere else to sit.
Bystander: Whoa, dude, the girl just wants to sit with her friend. Why are you being rude to her?
Guy in Yankees cap: It's my seat. I don't want to move. It's my right.
Bystander: I thought you were a Yankees fan.
Guy in Yankees cap: End of discussion.
Bystander: I thought you were a Yankees fan. You're a Yankees fan and you treat ladies like that?
Guy in Yankees cap: I ain't moving. End of discussion.

–1 Train

Overheard by: Rose Fox

Wednesday One-Liners Got Game

Old queer on cell: Okay, well I'll be watching the Mets game, or the Jets game, whatever you call it… What do they call it when you men all sit together and can't talk?

–Broadway & 103rd St

Iranian tourist to street performer: We don't have a vote but we have a basketball team!

–Washington Square

Overheard by: RAR!

Subway conductor: This is the uptown "d" express train, making all express stops in Manhattan and The Bronx, including 161st Street, so the Yankees can host the Minnesota Twins. We'd like to welcome all Detroit Tigers fans riding with us–shame you couldn't bring your team.

–Uptown D Train

Female sports fan: A-Rod's back baby! Kate Hudson has a magic pussy!

–Pub, 45th & 3rd

Overheard by: Pub crawler

Teenage girl to group of attentive friends: If leprechauns could play basketball, they would.

–High School, Queens

Overheard by: Sunny