Overheard In New York

Archive for the ‘Yankees’ Category

Wednesday One-Liner Pong

Frat dude: Mickey Mantle is the one dead person I would totally bring back to life to have gay sex with.

–Yankee Stadium Museum

Overheard by: sternie

30-something fratboy to wife: He still gives me mixtapes like we're still in high school!

–65th & Broadway

Overheard by: ENGLEBERT

Young frat boy to friend, deadpan: I came on her face. Then her mom walked in.

–59th St & Lexington

Overheard by: Josie

Drunk frat boy trying to pick up a girl wearing a red and white striped shirt: I'm sorry for interrupting, but I just wanted to tell you…I found Waldo.

–88th & 1st

Fratboy on phone: When was the baby born? (pause) Sick, dude!

–Penn Station

The Demographic for Derek Jeter's Cologne Slowly Reveals Itself

Guy #1: I didn't know people in Brooklyn wear Yankees caps.
Guy #2: Since when do you care about baseball?
Guy #1: I like to watch baseball when it's on.
Guy #2: When is that? After Project Runway?

–Carroll Park

New Yorker Rule #293: Never Try to Reason with a Disgruntled Yankee Fan

Disgruntled Yankee fan #1: Tigers suck!
Disgruntled Yankee fan #2: They just beat us, asshole.

–Outside Yankee Stadium, after 6-2 Loss to Detroit

Overheard by: Jake Elwell

There's No Crying in Wednesday One-Liners!

Conductor: This is Willets Point/Shea Stadium. You know, home of the other team. (passengers laugh) You may laugh, but we all know no one really likes the Mets. Anyhoo, have a nice day, everyone. Stand clear of the closing doors.

–7 Train

Overheard by: Kristen

20-something guy wearing Red Sox hat to girlfriend: There's no way we can have kids in New York. They'd be going to school with a bunch of brainwashed Yankee fan offspring, and every night we'd have to be telling them bedtime stories that end with "and they all lived happily every after, except for Derek Jeter, because he's a fuckin' asshole."

–1 Train

Young woman on cell: I'm from New York, but live in Boston, but want to move back to New York… It's hard being a Yankees fan surrounded by fucking Red Sox fans. I can't do it anymore.

–L Train

Overheard by: I agree…

Subway conductor: Yankees fans. This is a Bronx-bound express D. This will not stop at Yankee stadium. Transfer at the next station to the B. (20 minutes later) Yankees fans. I promise you this train will not stop at Yankee stadium. You can transfer to the B at the next station. Or you could just not go to the game. The choice is yours.

–D Train

20-something mother to another, trying hard to look knowledgeable: The Yankees and Mets are playing two games today, the first at Yankee stadium and the second at Fenway, where the Mets play.

–Barnes & Noble Cafe

Woman in Jesus t-shirt: Jesus hates the Yankees.

–Uptown C Train

Overheard by: Penny

Conductor to packed train: Attention, attention passengers. To all Yankee fans on this train, please have a safe day today, and enjoy the game. Personally, I am a Red Sox fan. That is all.

–Uptown 4 Train

Juan Valdez! I Love Him!

Girl #1: Oh my god, I can't believe we saw him! And he just re-signed with the Yankees!
Girl #2: Oh my god, I love José Canseco!
Girl #1: You mean Jorge Posada, right?
Girl #2: Yeah, sure, whoever you said!

–50th & 6th Ave

Overheard by: Jason

Your Editors Do Not Wish to Get Involved in This

Pilot: We are now arriving in at JFK airport in New York City, home of the Yankees.
Met fan: That's not right…(yelling) What about the Mets?
Pilot: No one cares.
Rest of passengers: (cheering)

–Jet Blue Flight

When You Were Born He Wanted You to Be Left on a Hillside

Four-year-old boy to mom: Mom, do we want the Mets to win or the Yankees?
(mom ignores comment)
Boy: I think I want them both to win!
Mom: I don't think your father's going to be very happy about this.

–3 Train

Overheard by: Danielle