Archive for the ‘Yankees’ Category

Looks Like It’s Kerry!

Statler: My kid just told me he’s making the ultimate sacrifice.
Waldorf: Really?
Statler: He told me that it’d be okay for the Red Sox to beat the Yankees, as long as George Bush loses the election.
Waldorf: My god. –14th Street YMCA

It's Gonna Be Another Long Season

Co-ed: Excuse me, would you mind moving over so my friend and I can sit together?
Guy in Yankees cap: I ain't moving. You can find somewhere else to sit.
Bystander: Whoa, dude, the girl just wants to sit with her friend. Why are you being rude to her?
Guy in Yankees cap: It's my seat. I don't want to move. It's my right.
Bystander: I thought you were a Yankees fan.
Guy in Yankees cap: End of discussion.
Bystander: I thought you were a Yankees fan. You're a Yankees fan and you treat ladies like that?
Guy in Yankees cap: I ain't moving. End of discussion. –1 Train Overheard by: Rose Fox

Wednesday One-Liners Got Game

Old queer on cell: Okay, well I'll be watching the Mets game, or the Jets game, whatever you call it… What do they call it when you men all sit together and can't talk? –Broadway & 103rd St Iranian tourist to street performer: We don't have a vote but we have a basketball team! –Washington Square Overheard by: RAR! Subway conductor: This is the uptown "d" express train, making all express stops in Manhattan and The Bronx, including 161st Street, so the Yankees can host the Minnesota Twins. We'd like to welcome all Detroit Tigers fans riding with us–shame you couldn't bring your team. –Uptown D Train Female sports fan: A-Rod's back baby! Kate Hudson has a magic pussy! –Pub, 45th & 3rd Overheard by: Pub crawler Teenage girl to group of attentive friends: If leprechauns could play basketball, they would. –High School, Queens Overheard by: Sunny

TV Is TV, Curtis

Young woman: I want to see it when they give the Yankees the keys to the city.
Thug boyfriend: Okay.
Young woman: What do the keys open?
Thug boyfriend: It's just, like, a statue and shit.
Young woman: Oh, I thought they all got a turn trying to open the vault at the bank, and one of the keys works.
Thug boyfriend: You dumb bitch. That's The Price Is Right, not The World Series! –E Train

Wednesday One-Liner Pong

Frat dude: Mickey Mantle is the one dead person I would totally bring back to life to have gay sex with. –Yankee Stadium Museum Overheard by: sternie 30-something fratboy to wife: He still gives me mixtapes like we're still in high school! –65th & Broadway Overheard by: ENGLEBERT Young frat boy to friend, deadpan: I came on her face. Then her mom walked in. –59th St & Lexington Overheard by: Josie Drunk frat boy trying to pick up a girl wearing a red and white striped shirt: I'm sorry for interrupting, but I just wanted to tell you…I found Waldo. –88th & 1st Fratboy on phone: When was the baby born? (pause) Sick, dude! –Penn Station