Archive for the ‘Yeaaahhh College!’ Category

Also, Our Eyes aren’t Open as Wide

College chick #1: Have you ever noticed it always gets dark really early during this time of year?
College chick #2: Yeah, I noticed it, too. But I was thinking that since it’s generally cloudier in autumn and winter that it really isn’t dark out earlier, it’s just really cloudy.
College chick #1: Wow, that makes so much sense!

–Riverdale

Actually, I Only Have about Three Non-Beast Shots in Me

College guy #1: You know, the first five or six times a day it’s easy to just rub one out, but at, like, seven or eight you gotta start getting inventive.
College guy #2: Ha, ha — yeah, man.
College girl: …What?
College guy #1: I mean, that’s when you gotta pull out the beastiality and shit to get it done.
College guy #2: Ha, ha — yeah, man.
College girl: Oh my god, I’m going to need therapy. Can you stop speaking?

–Broadway near NYU

Overheard by: worried that they are our future

Another Round of Wednesday One-Liners

Woman: She brought a bottle of vodka on the plane with her. She was doing shots the whole flight.

–Central Park

Overheard by: sarah

Conductor: The next stop is Cherry Hill, but for the men singing, it was alcohol.

–NJ Transit

Overheard by: Date Rape

Smooth operator: Don’t worry, I thought you were pretty before I got drunk.

–Subway

Party girl: Yeah, so I did like 10 shots and woke up the next day wearing only one shoe and a sombrero.

–51st St & Broadway

Hobo: Ladies and gentlemen, I have spent all my money on alcohol and marijuana and drugs… But now, I have learned my lesson. I want to spend all your money on alcohol and marijuana and drugs… and viagra…

–Union Square, uptown 6 train

Guy: Dude, I can’t get that drunk. I am trying to fuck that girl tonight.

–Outside Columbia dorm

Bimbette: Oh my god, it was a terrorist act! I’m going to the wine bar.

–68th St & York