Archive for the ‘Yeaaahhh College!’ Category

Wednesday One-Liners Go Back to School

Art teacher: Now you are true students of FIT! Nobody listens to directions! –FIT Suit on cell: I don’t know if going through water is resistance or friction, do you? God! I am so tired of doing the kid’s homework! –46th between 7th & 8th Female student: I think I’m gonna learn a lot. They were saying things that went, like, right over my head. –Fordham Overheard by: Jess McGins NYU girl on cell: No, I’m not going to waste the credits. I’m just going to fail the class on purpose. –Bleecker & Mercer Overheard by: Kristin Drunk chick: I’m majoring in the doggy-style orgasm. –Slainte, 1st & Bowery Overheard by: Genevieve Professor to class: Most of you are familiar with the breasts of members of the opposite sex who are close to your own age. –Columbia University Medical Center Professor: I have no idea what you’re saying, but I know you’re wrong. –Vanderbilt Hall, NYU Overheard by: The King Adrock

I Didn’t Know Cheney Had Kids That Age

Amherst alum: So we’re looking over the applications, and there are all these amazing kids. Won the Westinghouse, worked for the UN. And the questions: “Who do you most look up to?” “My parents, because they’re immigrants, and they taught me to work hard.” And with each of them it’s like, “in”. And then we get to this one, it’s like, “What’s a recent intellectually stimulating experience?” The answer is, “I love my dog, walking my dog.” Stuff like that. On and on, really ridiculous. And then, “Who do you most look up to?” The answer: “my parents, especially my dad. He’s the President of the United States.” And we look at each other, and Steve is like, “in.”

–Williamsburg

Overheard by: Julia Mandell

. . . and the Wedding Is on Saturday

Dartmouth boy: This girl I used to work with wore too much eyeliner — She was from the Midwest, she has a smile only a horse could love, skips around with lots of boyfriends, threw a birthday party for her dog — you get the picture. So she’s an ugly Midwestern girl who works at Goldman Sachs in the Muni Department, it’s not even real banking… –Union Ave & Scholes, Williamsburg Overheard by: Columbia Girl Who Can’t Stop Laughing

She Should Major in Double Entendres

Teen girl #1: Do you have your final college list yet?
Teen girl #2: It’s not exactly done.
Trannie: Seniors?
Teen girl #2: Yep!
Trannie: Either of you applying to Williams? I went there!
Teen girl #1: I was looking at it, but I’m not so sure. –1 train Overheard by: michal