Archive for the ‘Yuppies’ Category

Why the V-Chip Doesn’t Help

Yuppie mom: Look, honey, that girl holds her daddy’s hand when they cross the street.
Little girl: What a slut!
Yuppie mom: What?! Where did you learn that phrase?!
Little girl: Daddy, Daddy, Daddy! –8th & 2nd Overheard by: What a Skank

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Wednesday One-Liners for Young, Urban Professionals

Female yuppie: As a general rule of thumb, I think I should refrain from going to the Hustler Club with my male boss and co-workers from now on. –Downtown C train Overheard by: amused passenger Yuppie: It was the most intense Hava Nagilah I’d ever seen. –43rd & Lex Yuppie, examining the New York Public Library: Wow, that library is such a waste of real estate! –42nd & 5th Avenue Overheard by: Reader Rabbit Emo Girl to friend: Oh I love Whole Foods, its like Wal-Mart for Yuppies. –Whole Foods, Union Square Overheard by: Addie Wagenknecht Yuppie, to McDonald’s cashier: Do you have French vanilla capuccino? –McDonald’s, 34th & 10th

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Young Urban Professional Wednesday One-Liners

Yuppie screenwriter girl: So I was a very precocious child. Or whatever, y'know. And I just wanted to explore that dynamic a little bit? Basically it's a buddy picture between the little me and the big me. –14th & 8th Yuppie woman: And what do I say to that? "I have a smack habit, give me money"! –St. Mark's Place Yuppie man: If I hear "breast milk cupcakes" one more time… –Outside Gotham Bar and Grill Yuppie, thoughtfully: It's not the mustard, it's what the mustard represents! –Food Emporium, 2nd Ave

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The Judges Savaged His Last Performance

Four-year-old girl on tricycle: Why don’t you make more babies?
Yuppie mother: Because Daddy made you and your brother, and he thinks he did a pretty good job.
Four-year-old girl: But Mommy, do you want to make more babies?
Yuppie mother: Well, it takes two to tango!
Yuppie father: [Silence.] –23rd & 8th

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This Is Not a Hard Problem

50-something yuppie guy to another: My wife just doesn't understand that men go through menopause too. It's not just a woman's problem. These past few months I can tell that I've begun my menopause.
Teenage girl sitting across from two yuppies: I'm pretty sure they call what you're going through “erectile dysfunction.” –F Train Overheard by: Sophia

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