Archive for the ‘Yuppies’ Category

This Is Not a Hard Problem

50-something yuppie guy to another: My wife just doesn't understand that men go through menopause too. It's not just a woman's problem. These past few months I can tell that I've begun my menopause.
Teenage girl sitting across from two yuppies: I'm pretty sure they call what you're going through “erectile dysfunction.” –F Train Overheard by: Sophia

Those Aren’t Connie Marble’s Kind of People

Yuppie girl: Are you sure? I thought it was pronounced “you-mor”.
Yuppie guy: No. It’s “humor”. Huh, huh, huh. With an “h”.
Yuppie girl: Really? I’ve heard people say that. I’ve heard people say “you-mor”. Who says it that way?
Yuppie guy: Assholes. –Bay Ridge Overheard by: Tim Noonan

Teaching the Indie Kids to Overhear Again

Indie guy: There are so many people here I know from MySpace, but none of them will look me in the face. –Knitting Factory, Leonard Street Guy: God, why is there always something with this place? Who are all of these lame yuppies here?
Girl: Who the fuck knows? But man, I swear, until White people learn how to dance, I am sooo boycotting shows at the Knitting Factory… –Knitting Factory, Leonard Street Overheard by: astralgirl01

Wednesday Onesie Liners

Woman on cell, loudly: No, no, my baby's getting fixed that day! –5th Ave Yuppie thug in three-piece suit, loudly on cell while riding escalator: So you sayin' it's mines? How you know it's mines? Naw naw, how you know? Bitch, kiss my ass! If they ain't been no muh-fuckin DNA test, then they ain't been no baby sprung up outta my dick! I ain't no adoption agency! –Borders, Penn Station Overheard by: IJustWanttoBrowseMadonna'sBrother'sTell-AllinPeace 20-something male on cell: What did I tell you about having sex with people who have babymama problems? That's why I gave up my crush on Bristol Palin. –110th & Broadway Overheard by: Topical Black lady with stroller: Ohhh, no. All y'all are not fitting into this car. Stop pushin' up on my baby. Y'all need to back that shit up now. (baby starts crying) What do you want? What do you want? Are you having hot flashes? Cause I know I am. Jesus! –Downtown 6 Train Overheard by: Alie Black woman: Of all his babymamas, why he alway bothering her? He has all these babymamas and he's always bugging her. She must still be puttin' out. –34th & Broadway Very young pregnant woman purchasing cigarettes on: What the hell kind of difference does what you eat have on what kind of baby you have? –Nostrand & Dean, Crown Heights Overheard by: Siobhan

The Superfluous Eruditeness Of Wednesday One-Liners

Pompous, insane English professor: Right now I am being plagued by a contagion, but I will return your reports anon. –Barnard College Student, to friend who just bashed the side of his head: What the hell? You're hurting my ganglia! –Columbia University Overheard by: John David Black mom to teen daughter walking away from her: No, you get back here and listen to what I'm sayin! You gotta pay attention–niggas be instigatin! –Nassau & Fulton Overheard by: Tigertail First year legal scholar: I feel like our relationship is terminated for perpetuity. –Grand Central Overheard by: bunbury Yuppie on phone: Wait. (pause) Bruhaha, right? –70th & Broadway

NewsFlash: New Jersey Builds Immigration Wall

Yuppie on cell cutting long line, to cashier: I’d like to buy some cookies.
Cashier: Um, the line starts back there, sir.
Yuppie, into cell: I hate the fucking East Side. Everyone thinks they’re hot shit. I can’t figure out this fucking line — all I want to do is buy some fucking cookies… New Jersey is my destiny. –Bakery, 70th & Lex