Yuppie: I myself don’t watch porn, but I am told by trustworthy sources that at least two-thirds of all pornographic movies have no artistic value. – Lower East Side
Young Yuppie: You’re such a third-generation American Jew. – 6th Avenue, West Village
Yuppie: “Is Freddie Prinze Jr. Harry Connick Jr.’s son?” – Streetcorner in Midtown
Yuppie #1: Yesterday we had a strike at Dow Jones.
Yuppie #2: What was it about?
Yuppie #1: Oh, union stuff.
Yuppie #2: What did you do?
Yuppie #1: Well, we all just took a 15-minute lunch break at the same time. It was less a “strike” and more a “coordinated lunch break.” – F train to Brooklyn
Yuppie #1: I admire the fact that your friends are so intelligent. Most people I speak to are single cell organisms, undergoing mitosis as I speak.
Yuppie #2: Then why do you speak to them?
Yuppie #1: They’re the only ones who call me – Bond Street Starbucks
Yuppie #1: It’s just like in that movie, Good Will Hunting.
Yuppie #2: I never saw that.
Yuppie #1: What?! Dude, that movie’s like the voice of our generation!
Yuppie #2: Whatever. –Northeast entrance to Madison Square Park Contrubuted by: Scott Nybakken
Yuppie: I was just teaching the scientific method to my students.
Nerd: Oh, so you teach them induction and deduction?
Yuppie: [long pause] The students aren’t that smart so I don’t teach them big words like those. – Party, Manhattan
Yuppie: If I could be anywhere in the world now, I would be in the West Bank. – Cafe, Williamsburg
Yuppie: You’re such a third-generation American Jew. – Upper West Side
Yuppie: We shouldn’t be using our brains to simulate monkeys. –Broadway & 72nd