Where: Diner in Williamsburg Yuppie on Cell Phone: You should come down! He’s giving a concert tonight at Luxx.
Yuppie: So I said to him, “But I’m a team player” and then he looked at me and said, “Yeah, my dog’s a team player” and ever since then, I’ve been trying to think of a witty comeback but I haven’t. – 6 Train
Lowlife: I hate shopping.
Yuppie: You have to love it, because we really need to avoid this look. –W. 8th & Broadway Overheard by: Tibbie X
Business casual 30-something #1: What is this, a halfway house?
Business casual 30-something #2: No, man, that's Chipotle.
Whiny tween: Daddy, I just got hit in the eye.
Yuppie dad: Oh! You did? Who hit you in the eye?
Tween and mom: Mommy did.
Overheard by: Andrea
Yuppie giving panhandler change: Don't do drugs.
Panhandler: Where am I going to buy drugs for a quarter?
–105th St & Broadway
Overheard by: matthew
Yuppie male at counter, taking a sip of his orange juice, sighing: Let me guess. This isn't freshly squeezed.
Yuppie girl #1: This thing with Robert is just killing me…
Yuppie girl #2: How bad could it possibly be?
Yuppie girl #3: Ugh… It's like when-Heidi-Klum-married-Seal bad!
Preppy teenage boy on cell: I use the word "ex" as a coping mechanism. She can have her name back once I'm healed.
Transvestite on cell: I'm changing my name from Angela to Rachel. Angela sounds very Disney. I don't feel like Disney. I feel like a hard sound, like Rachel.
–Pelham Bay Park
Black guy: Shit be fucked up. Niggas got bitches' names. Bitches got niggas' names.
–26th & 8th
Overheard by: Withnail
Yuppie to another: You know, man, I think you say my name more than your wife's.
–62nd & 2nd
Overheard by: The Vonz
Upper East Side girl, seriously: You know what the first thing I look for in a gentleman caller is? His name.
–89th St & 3rd Ave
Crazy Asian bag lady: My pasta! Who took my pasta!? You! (points to yuppie guy) You took it!
Yuppie guy: Lady, does it look like I need your pasta?
Crazy Asian bag lady: Calm down, asshole, it's just pasta. I think I told David he could have it.