Archive for the ‘Yuppies’ Category

Thought Activism

Yuppie: Democracy only works when you work to make the laws you want happen. Have you ever worked to get a law passed?
Hipster: Yes, I have, as a matter of fact!
Yuppie: Okay. What issue was it, and what did you do?
Hipster: Give me some time to think about it, I’m sure that I once did something but I don’t remember it this second. – Cobble Hill, Brooklyn

Overheard in the Headlines

An elevator equipped with a TV monitor shows a news segment of a man who just rescued a person swept away by floodwaters in California. Yuppie Prick #1: Wow, that guy is fat. Can you imagine him saving anyone?
Yuppie Prick #2: Nope!
Fat Bystander: Not unless it was your miserable ass in the water, and he was savin’ you, jerkoff! –Midtown elevator

Wednesday One-Liners' Monogrammed Towels Say “W.O.L.”

Preppy teenage boy on cell: I use the word "ex" as a coping mechanism. She can have her name back once I'm healed.

–Grand Central

Transvestite on cell: I'm changing my name from Angela to Rachel. Angela sounds very Disney. I don't feel like Disney. I feel like a hard sound, like Rachel.

–Pelham Bay Park

Black guy: Shit be fucked up. Niggas got bitches' names. Bitches got niggas' names.

–26th & 8th

Overheard by: Withnail

Yuppie to another: You know, man, I think you say my name more than your wife's.

–62nd & 2nd

Overheard by: The Vonz

Upper East Side girl, seriously: You know what the first thing I look for in a gentleman caller is? His name.

–89th St & 3rd Ave