Archive for the ‘Yuppies’ Category

Vaguely Christian Wednesday One-Liners

Crazy homeless guy: Ya see, I don’t like the Baptists, because I’m a Roman Catholic. But I would hire a Baptist man, because I like the doughnuts. –4 train Overheard by: Russ Wall Little boy skipping: I did not commit a sin! –Central Park Yuppie chick on cell: It’s really easy to convert to Protestantism. All you have to do is kill a few Catholics, Martin Luther King style. Okay, I gotta go, I have a train to catch. –Montague St, Brooklyn Overheard by: I’d like to know where she studied history Man bowing head: Hail Mary, full of– ah, fuck it. –Northbound Q train

Thanks for Giving Me an Escape Route

Guy yuppie: So, one of the interesting things about that movie is, remember I read that book by Neil Strauss all about how he picked up women? Well, a lot of the things the main character in that movie did are the things that Strauss advocates.
Girl yuppie: Okay, give me an example.
Guy yuppie: Well, you know how in one of their first meetings he proposed to her? That’s one of the things he suggests.
Girl yuppie: Is that why on our second date you proposed to me?
Guy yuppie: Uh, you know I only read that book after we started dating… So I did that on my own…
Girl yuppie: And doesn’t he just show you how to get a girl to have sex with you, not to have a relationship, and you weren’t looking just for sex, but a relationship, so what he wrote wouldn’t have applied to you, right?
Guy yuppie: Yeah, exactly. –Outside a showing of The Science of Sleep, BAM

They Have Stuff Lots of Places

Yuppie chick #1: So, I went to the Museum of Natural History yesterday.
Yuppie chick #2: You wanted to go to the Museum of Natural History?
Yuppie chick #1: Yeah.
Yuppie chick #2: Why?
Yuppie chick #1: ‘Cause they have stuff there.
Yuppie chick #2: You know, I’ve never been to the Museum of Natural History. What kind of stuff do they have there?
Yuppie chick #1: You know, like, natural science stuff… A lot of the stuff there, though, was for little kids.
Yuppie chick #2: Yeah, I wouldn’t go there. Who wants to see natural science stuff?
Yuppie chick #1: Yeah, I mostly thought it was stupid. –Utopia Diner, 72nd & Amsterdam Overheard by: Cultured New Yorker

Wednesday One-Liners Haven’t Met Most Of Their Friends

Yuppie: I don’t google enough. –F Train, 7th Ave Overheard by: imaginexrach Girl on cell: Not being on Facebook is ruining my life! –NYU Bus Overheard by: Asian Kid Assistant on phone, about her 17-year-old daughter’s MySpace page: I find it interesting that she and her friend Shannon have the same friend listed. Some 32-year-old guy in California named Tom! –Office on 42nd & Madison Overheard by: herspace Man: I’m going to go home and e-mail some shameless bitches. –8th St & Broadway Grad student at computer, dolefully: Without right-click I just don’t know what to do with the world. –Columbia University Overheard by: Ladle