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But the Steak Was Rare
Barber #1: Yo, last night I had a steak.
Barber #2: Don't tell me you had steak last night. Tell me you fucked some bitches last night. Tell me you got your ass licked last night. Tell me you farted in a chick's mouth and her cheeks blew up last night.
--Barbershop, Queens
Overheard by: Nathaniel
Just to Give You the Flavor of My Life
Sweatpants: So, how's your life doing?
Girl: Um, okay, I guess.
Sweatpants: That's good... So I was watching Pokemon the other day...
--Mars Bar
Overheard by: Anna Wolinsky
Or Thinking Too Hard
Beautician #1: Do you smell burning hair?
Beautician #2: Maybe we're walking too fast.
--3rd & MacDougall, the Village
I Just Like Getting On My Knees Five Times A Day
Hairdresser #1: So, you're a practicing Muslim?
Hairdresser #2: Yep.
Hairdresser #1: So, do Muslims pray to God, or Mohammed, or both?
Hairdresser #2: I don't really get into the details.
--East 19th St & Ave R, Brooklyn
Overheard by: brooklyn blonde
Headline by: ilemanzer
Runners-Up:
· "I pray to Allah Updo and Crewcut Christ" - katcob
· "I'm just into the hating Jews part." - DaveO
· "I'm more about the accessories" - Ty
· "Islam is in-er than Thai ladyboys this season." - eyp
· "Neither does the President." - Becca
Click here to see the new Headline Contest
Plus, He Says He'll Die for My Sins
Hairdresser: So, I'm dating this carpenter...
Client: Oooh, is he cute?
Hairdresser: It isn't so much that he's 'cute' as 'willing to redo my basement if I go out with him.'
--Amsterdam & W 85th
Overheard by: umpazumparoo
Now That's More Like It
Woman: Guess what? I just saw one of the Golden Girls on my way
here.
Hairqueer: Oh really? Which one?
Woman: I don't know. She was the flirty one on the show. I guess
she was the prettiest one...
Hairqueer: Oh, Rue McClanahan! I've done her hair.
--Hair Salon, 47th & Lexington
"Yeah, all those kids look alike."
Asian guy: I want to spike my hair.
White guy: So grow out the sides and spike the whole thing.
Asian guy: What do I look like, one of those Dragon Ball Z kids in Chinatown?
--Office, Old Slip
Overheard by: Kevz
Rachel Carson is Spinning in Her Eco-Grave
Hairstylist: Hey Jo Jo, what's with that lady with all that body hair?
Jo Jo: She's an old tree hugger. She never quit living in the 60s. Her kids and husband smell too.
--Hair Salon, Madison & 52nd
Barbershop Fun
Haircutter: So she wanted me to put wax in her hair. And I told her I didn't have any, that it's $19 a bottle and if I get some for everyone I'll go through it in no time. So she says that I should buy it for my customers. If she likes it so much, she should go buy it herself. I mean, it's one thing if the cunt were a good tipper.
--Astor Place [Translated from the Russian]
